Anger and resentment on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills seem to follow the first law of thermodynamics, which states that energy cannot be created or destroyed. Only transferred.
Case in point: Taylor arrived at Lisa's tea party fuming at her. Two years of stomaching insults from the sarcastic Brit finally boiled over into Taylor telling Lisa where to stick it. The two actually resolved things, but in the process, Taylor's anger transferred to Camille, who finally spilled the beans about Taylor's abusive marriage on camera. Now, Camille's barely fit to shovel horseshit at little Kennedy's birthday extravaganza. No live Ace Young performance for you, Camille. Suck on that!
While said tea party was going on, Kim was busy creating a love nest with boyfriend Ken. But Ken's metalwork piece depicting the Golden Gate bridge threw Kim off a bit. "What is this? Is it a ship? This ship is great over the fire piece place! I'm an Arabian Horse. Rahhhr!" Good God Kim, take a quaa...actually, never mind.
The highlight of last night's episode, however, was the 5th birthday party Taylor threw for Kennedy at a ranch in Malibu. Well let's be real, it was a vineyard, and there was a mechanical bull, but the adult fun was balanced out with a petting zoo and bouncy castle so it all worked out.
Apparently Taylor has learned nothing from Kennedy's 4th birthday party, for which she spent $62,000 to have her daughter sit under a tree and pout. The price tag for this party wasn't disclosed, though it looked much higher, and Kennedy once again spent most of the time with a puss on.
Not even a special performance by the great Ace Young could cheer her up! Who, you say? You don't know who Ace Young is? He finished like 6th on American Idol some time during the Bush administration! He's a pretty big deal. We're shocked he could find time in his busy schedule to attend this party, get drunk and sing a personalized birthday song to a 5-year-old. Kennedy turned her back and hid her face, obviously overcome with emotion.
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To be clear, however, we don't blame Kennedy in the least. We would've hid from Ace Young too.
But as any little girl would, Kennedy did look thrilled to receive a horse for her birthday. Yes, in their thinly veiled attempt to overcompensate, Taylor and Russell purchased an actual farm animal for their child. Here's hoping it doesn't go the way of poor Snowball, last year's puppy gift which eventually had to "go to the farm," if you know what we mean.
We'll end this week with a Jon Stewart-esque Moment of Zen in which we watch Mauricio ride a bull. Sigh. Until next week!