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Donald Rumsfeld suffers from a psychosomatic condition we’ll call “erectile dys-truc-tion.”
He can’t get it up without whipping out his battery-operated toys and deploying
the National Guard to do his dirty work. And just like a guy after blowing his
wad, he falls asleep and forgets everything that got him excited in the first
place. Unlike Rummy’s infamous boner, the Pentagon’s incestuous procurement process
can be a little limp, and deathly slow in coming.


“. . . the Pentagon gave a contract for thousands of the ceramic plate inserts [for bulletproof vests] to a former Army researcher who had never mass-produced anything . . . in shipping plates from other companies, the Army . . . reduced the armor’s priority to the status of socks . . . 10,000 plates were lost along the way.”?*

(Note from my wife: “Look in the dryer!”)


General Paul J. Kern, head of the Army’s Material Command, retired in January. His tactful exit line about the lack of armor for troops and Humvees: “Our planning process wasn’t keeping up with the changes that were required.” **

Because there was no planning process!


*“Many Actions Tied to Delay in Armor
for Troops in Iraq,” Michael Moss, The
New York Times, March 7, 2005, Page 1



**quoted by Michael Moss, ibid.

Erring on the Side of…?

Would someone please calm the religious zealots
so that we all could observe a moment of richly deserved silence for Terri
Schiavo — along with the hundreds and thousands of lives lost or threatened
by some of the dangerously boneheaded policies of the Bush Administration?
As the Bush record attests, the president is no stranger to erring, but he
usually does not do so on the side of life.



Death Penalty

In six years as governor of Texas, Bush signed the most death warrants (152)
in state history.



War Detainees

Last week, Pentagon officials acknowledged that 27 detainees died in U.S.
Army detention centers in Iraq and Afghanistan, victims of murder, negligent
homicide and assault.



Iraq War

On the Sunday that Bush signed emergency legislation to keep Terri Schiavo
alive, one American was killed and 10 others were wounded in Iraq. More than
1,500 American soldiers and 100,000 Iraqi men, women and children have died
in the name of “Life, Liberty and Freedom.”



Minnesota School Shooting

American Indians complained that Bush remained silent for four days before
making public comments about the high school shooting on Red Lake Reservation.
Worse yet, Bush still plans to get rid of funding for two major programs geared
to preventing classroom violence, including Bill Clinton’s initiative to hire
more police officers at schools.



Abstinence-Only Education

The Bush administration is spending $131 million preaching the virtues of
abstinence-only sex education and ignoring the effectiveness of condoms in
combatting HIV/AIDS. Human Rights Watch warns: “Exporting these programs to
countries facing even more serious HIV/AIDS epidemics will only make the situation
worse around the world.” By portraying sex outside of heterosexual marriage
as psychologically and physically harmful, these programs also discriminate
against gay and lesbian youth.



Mentally Retarded

According to the Death Penalty Information Center, Texas executed six retarded
defendants since 1982, two of them under Governor Bush’s watch.



Death Denial

“I just want you to know that when we talk about war, we’re really talking
about peace.”

—George Bush, June 18, 2002

Legal Torture

With an assist from then–White House Counsel Alberto Gonzales, Bush may well
believe that Taliban fighters are not protected under the Geneva Convention.
Gonzales, in a 2002 memo to Bush, described the restrictions set forth in
the Geneva Convention as “obsolete” and “quaint.” Some say that Gonzales’
legal advice opened the door to the abuses that occurred at Guantanamo Bay
and in Abu Ghraib.



Gun Control

While campaigning for the presidency, Bush supported instant background checks
to help keep guns from being sold to the wrong people. He did not mention
that Texas, under a law he signed in 1995, failed to conduct background checks
and issued concealed weapon’s permits to 407 people with criminal convictions.




Death Row

In a sign that political forces can be stronger than death wishes, Bush announced
plans to comply with a World Court edict and grant hearings to 51 Mexican
nationals on death rows in eight states, most of them in Texas.

—Christine Pelisek

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