Laine BentleyIt's coming.
After a painfully long 17-month hiatus, the result of stalled contract negotiations between the network and series creator Matthew Weiner, Mad Men returns to AMC March 25.
These six sex scenes from the series' first four seasons should do well to incite excitement for season 5. No need to fight the urge to drink some scotch (neat pour, natch) while reading this — and be sure to enjoy a cigarette afterward.
The Delicate Cycle
The Episode: “Indian Summer” Season 1, Episode 11
The Scene: In the midst of a heat wave, Betty gets off on her washing machine's spin cycle while entertaining unclean thoughts about the door-to-door salesmen who stopped by earlier in the day to try and sell her an air conditioner.
Key Dialogue: “There's a science to how heat patterns work,” the handsome, inadvertently double-speaking salesmen tells Betty, who has already got her early morning sweat glow on.
Booze Involved: No, but Ms. Draper likely smoked a cig or four after.
Adulterous?: Only in Betty's imagination.
Lady (of the night) in Red
The Episode: “Public Relations” Season 4, Episode 1
The Scene: Freshly divorced Don has a buxom redheaded hooker, whose aesthetic is vaguely reminiscent of Joan, over to his Manhattan bachelor pad, and the two celebrate Thanksgiving with a bit of stuffing.
Key Dialogue: Hooker: Let me take off my brassiere. Don: In a minute. Hooker: Don't tell me what to do; I know what you want. Don: So do it. (she slaps him) Harder. (she slaps him) Again. (she slaps him again).
Booze Involved: Not unless Don was solo daytime drinking, which obviously isn't out of the realm of possibility, especially on a holiday.
Adulterous?: No, although they are breaking the New York state law against prostitution.
All Tied Up
The Episode::”Maidenform” Season 2, Episode 6
The Scene: Don spends the day in bed with his femme fatale partner-in-affair Bobbie Barrett. The two begin getting intimate, again, when Bobbie reveals that she's discussed their relationship with a mutual acquaintance. In an act both frightening and highly erotic, Don gets pissed and straps her to the bed with his belt.
Key Dialogue:“I told you to stop talking,” Don says before leaving a hot and bothered Bobbie belted to her own bed.
Booze Involved: Bobbie sips on a glass of champagne before getting into bed.
Adulterous?: Highly. Bobbie is married to comedian Jimmy Barrett, who eventually reveals the affair to Betty, who he clearly wants to bone. That sets off the string of events that unravels Betty and Don's marriage.
So Close, So Far Away
The Episode: “Out of Town” Season 3, Episode 1
The Scene: While on a business trip to Baltimore, Sal nearly gets his man-on-man fantasies fulfilled by a handsome young bellhop, who sends the illustrator into pangs of illicit pleasure before the tryst is dashed by a (highly symbolic) fire alarm. Don spots the duo while exiting on the fire escape, but keeps Sal's secret in the closet.
Key Dialogue:“Oh Jesus,” says an incredulous and clearly turned on Sal, before the alarm rings.
Booze Involved: Sal drinks much of what appears to be scotch during a pre-romp boozy dinner with Don, the pilot and two stewardesses (one of whom Don almost makes it with later) from their flight.
Adulterous?:For sure. Sal is married to Kitty, who is ever-oblivious back in New York.
Get It, Betty
Episode:“Meditations in an Emergency” Season 2, Episode 13
The Scene:After finding out she's pregnant with a baby she doesn't want, Betty drops Sally and Bobby off at the Manhattan hotel where Don is staying while the couple is separated. She then moseys to a local bar, where she gets some steamy play from a random strapping handsome dude.
Key Dialogue:“I'm married,” Betty coos before slipping into the coat room and out of her clothes.
Booze Involved:Betty orders a glass of water and a gimlet, which said handsome dude pays for, thus igniting the rendezvous.
Adulterous?:Sort of. Don and Betty are separated, although they get back together before Betty gives birth. Still, we call gray area.
Red Fox + Silver Fox
The Episode: “The Beautiful Girls,” Season 4, Episode 9
The Scene:After reminiscing about old times at a local diner they used to frequent, Joan and Roger are held up at gunpoint while walking through a shady neighborhood after dark. Post-robbery PTSD-induced public sex results.
Key Dialogue:“Don't stop,” Joan urges Roger, and he doesn't.
Booze Involved:No, but the duo do share a piece of cherry cheesecake just prior to getting it on.
Adulterous?: Doubly so. Joan is married to Greg, who has just been shipped to Vietnam, while Roger is married to the beautiful young Jane, and whoopsy, the romp leaves Joan preggers. The fate of the baby and both marriages awaits us in season 5.
Follow @AfterDarkLA on Twitter.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.