We know what you're thinking. When you were watching President Barack Obama deliver the State of the Union address last night, there was only one thing on your mind as he explained his plans for getting America back on track: Band names. That's right, in the course of Barry O.'s hour-long speech, he dropped plenty of band names that could satisfy the needs of millions of hard-working Americans who have joined together for the sake of music. Got an indie band with no name? Barack's got ya covered. A Hip Hop troupe with no vision? Obama's on it. Christian Straight-Edge Metalcore band? Yup. We ran the speech through West Coast Sound's high tech Bandnamilizer© to give you 20 band names from the State of the Union Address.
20. The Tax Cuts
Genre: Pub Rock
19. (DJ) Clean Coal
Genre: Acid House
Album title: The world's fastest computer
18. 2,000 Foot Hole
Genre: Alt-Country
17. Edison and the Wright Brothers
Genre: Americana / Folk
Single: “The change has been painful”
16. Free Enterprise (Sound) System
Genre: Hyperdub
15. Pray for the Health
Genre: Christian Straight-Edge Hardcore
14. The Apollo Projects
Genre: East Coast Hip Hop
13. A Light to the World
Genre: Christian Straight-Edge Metalcore
12. Cutting-edge Scientists
Genre: Psychedelic Surf Rock
Album: Surpass the Soviets
11. Determined Enemies
Genre: Thrash Metal
10. The American Family
Genre: Hipster folk
9. Inventors and Entrepreneurs
Genre: Male-female Singer Songwriter Duo
8. Stranglehold
Genre: Gore Core
7. Tucson
Genre: Indie Rock
6. We Do Big Things
Genre: U.K. Nu-Rave
Album title: Bigger than Party
5. Robust Democracy
Genre: Country
4. (the) Corporate Profits
Genre: Politically Edged Hip Hop
3. People Danced in the Streets
Genre: Electro Afrobeat
2. Winning the Future
Genre: Screamo
1. Our Sputnik Moment [Ed.'s Note: not as good as our Sigue Sigue Sputnik moment.]
Genre: Anthemic Indie Rock
BONUS (Boehnerus?)
To keep things bipartisan, here are five bands from the GOP response to the State of the Union speech, by Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan.
5. Crushing Burden
Genre: Scandinavian Black Metal
4. Premiums are Rising
Genre: Trip Hop
3. That Violent Morning
Genre: Crabcore
2. Failed Stimulus
Genre: Ghettotech
1. The Unemployed
Genre: Punk
Read the transcripts of the State of the Union Address and the Republican response and tell us the band names you find.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.