West Coast Sound | Why This Song Sucks | Los Angeles News and Events | LA Weekly
Loading...

Why This Song Sucks

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Eminem - MARCO TORRES
  • Marco Torres
  • Eminem
[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.]

Song: Eminem's "The Monster," featuring Rihanna

History: Eminem did a freestyle battle. He went up against Papa Doc and choked. It was pretty sad. Then some more sad stuff happened to him. But then he did another freestyle battle and, if you can even believe it, he ended up going against Papa Doc again and THIS TIME HE WON BY MAKING PAPA DOC CHOKE. That's a little thing called true justice. After that, Rihanna was like, "Oh my God this dude has mad skills. I need to do a song with him." So they did some pretty good songs together. And then they made "The Monster."

More »

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Zayn and the crew - COURTESY OF COLUMBIA/SYCO
  • Courtesy of Columbia/Syco
  • Zayn and the crew
[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.]

Song: One Direction's "Story Of My Life"

History: A long time ago there were barber shop quartets and then after that the New Kids On The Block, and more recently five UK dudes were like, "We're One Direction" and they were a hit.

Atmospherics: Like the boys are suddenly really into Mumford & Sons. Or like they're starting their own nondenominational church.

More »

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Serrano Time

Katy Perry's "Roar": Why This Song Sucks

Comments (0)

By

Wed, Nov 6, 2013 at 4:15 AM

MonkeyFixed2.jpg
[Editor's Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.]

History: Katy Perry was born in 1984, except back then people called her "Katy Hudson" because that's her real name. In 2001, she was like, "You know what? I'm gonna release a Christian album," so that's what she did. It flopped.

Then she was like, "You know what? God can't take me to the top, bro, but I know what can," and so she changed her name to Katy Perry and swapped out our Lord and Savior for a bra that squirts out whipped cream. She's since sold approximately 10 million albums. "Roar" comes from her new album, Prism. It's not that great, but since she's not talking about Jesus Christ it was able to top the charts. Pretty cool world. Here's why it sucks:

More »

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Serrano Time

Why This Song Sucks: Lorde's "Royals"

Comments (49)

By

Wed, Oct 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM

lorde3.jpg
[Editor's Note: Shea Serrano sometimes writes about Why This Song Sucks, and sometimes about his hilarious and poignant life and times. Better put your shoes on because your socks are about to be blown off.]

Song: "Royals" by Lorde

History: Some time between year 1250 and 1300 Eastern Polynesians settled on (what we now know as) New Zealand. In 2007 Flight of the Conchords had a show on HBO. Then the one guy from Flight of the Conchords (not the curiously handsome one, the one with the weird mouth) was the bad guy in Men In Black III. And then now Lorde has a song that a lot of people like. That's the entire history of New Zealand in about 70 words.

More »

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

KENDRICK.jpg
[Editor's Note: Shea Serrano sometimes writes about Why This Song Sucks, and sometimes about his hilarious and poignant life and times. Better put your shoes on because your socks are about to be blown off.]

Last year, Kendrick Lamar released good kid, m.A.A.d. city, his gorgeous proper debut album and the best rap project of the year. Late Monday, he released the video for "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe," the most soundly executed track on gkmc.

You can see it below, and you will see that it possesses nearly the exact opposite characteristics that make his lyrics so vital. It is unfortunate. Let's walk through it.

More »

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Miguel
  • Miguel
[Editor's Note: Shea Serrano sometimes writes about Why This Song Sucks, and sometimes about his hilarious and poignant life and times. Better put your shoes on because your socks are about to be blown off.]

Song: Miguel's "How Many Drinks"

History: This song came out and now they play on the radio a lot and so everyone is kind of realizing HOLY FUCK THIS IS BAD.

More »

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Why This Song Sucks

Justin Timberlake's "Suit & Tie": Why This Song Sucks

Comments (14)

By

Wed, Jan 23, 2013 at 4:00 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears regularly on West Coast Sound.]

Song: Justin Timberlake, "Suit & Tie," featuring Jay-Z

History: "Suit & Tie" is the first song from Justin Timberlake's new album(!), The 20/20 Experience. People were super excited about the song before it was released, and I guess some still are* given that it's broken a few records since it came out, but a lot of people are wondering why it wasn't called "Shit & Tie" instead.

More »

Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday, December 17, 2012

Why This Song Sucks

Why This Song Sucks: The Worst Rap Tracks of 2012

Comments (0)

By

Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 4:15 AM

lilbbbbb.jpg
Welcome to another installment of the worst rap songs of the year, brought to you by Why This Song Sucks. They are all here this year: The all-the-way aged king, the suddenly mortal demigod, the former darling, the current darling, the most successful female rapper of the past decade, the global megastar, the lovable Bronx fat man, the incorrigible L.A. white girls, a goddamn cat; all of them, more.

See also: *The Worst Rap Tracks of 2011

*The Best Rap Singles of 2012

Guest appearances by Brad Pitt, Arsenio Hall, Clint Eastwood , Prince, the Pakistani guy from Seinfeld, Kristen Wiig, Eddie Murphy, Nic Cage, the kid from Boy Meets World, the guy from Entourage that helped Vince nearly ruin his everything; all of them, more. These are the ten worst rap songs of 2012.

More »

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Why This Song Sucks

Future's "Turn On The Lights": Why This Song Is Amazing

Comments (0)

By

Wed, Nov 28, 2012 at 9:31 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday. However, this week we're utilizing science to explain why a song is goddamn amazing.]

Song: Future's "Turn On The Lights"

History: history? History? HISTORY? Don't be absurd. For there to be history would imply that the time-space continuum holds the Atlanta rapper Future in its grasp, that he is bound by the same physics that governs rove beetles and plums and mailmen. Future is no mortal. Future is the GODKING. Future is the Earth and the air and the cosmos and everything and nothing. Future is the alpha and the omega. Future is the father of Chaos and the son of Chaos at the same damn time. History? Please. Your face is history. (Also, Future plays at Key Club tonight.)

More »

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why This Song Sucks

Maroon 5's "One More Night": Why This Song Sucks

Comments (0)

By

Wed, Nov 21, 2012 at 8:26 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]

Song: Maroon 5's "One More Night"

History: "One More Night" is from Maroon 5's mostly supposed-to-be-saucy-but-mostly-forgettable Overexposed album, which, FYI, does not include naked pictures of Adam Levine in the liner notes so don't buy it if that's what you were thinking. You will be way disappointed when you open it*.

More »

Now Trending

Los Angeles Concert Tickets