Weird Science

Where Is the Best Place in the World to Live?

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Tue, Feb 4, 2014 at 4:15 AM
click to enlarge Boston, the band - COURTESY OF THE ARTIST
  • Courtesy of the artist
  • Boston, the band
Where is the best place in the world to live? Scientists have conducted all sorts of studies to determine this, but one thing they've never done? Decide solely on the bands named after that place.

So, as usual, we're stepping in where science has failed. Under consideration below are music artists whose names are solely comprised of particular cities, states, countries or continents. (So, for example, "Japan" but not "Tokyo Police Club.") Also, no street names, or neighborhood names, or whatever. If we've forgotten anything, please let us know we're jerks in the comments section. 


Boston: Boston the city is like Boston the band: Over. Fallen out of step with the times. Played out. Sure some people think Boston's still a big deal but whatever to them. 

Chicago: A pretty important city that, like the band named for it, often gets overlooked. So thus you're tempted to feel sorry for the city/band, but then sometimes you think they kind of bring it on themselves. After all, who puts a whole damn pickle spear on a hot dog? 

Berlin: Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames.

Phoenix: Hot and sprawling. Better in concept than execution. 

Calexico: If the state of California were a banana, the city of Calexico would by at the very bottom, that dark pointy part. Best to remove it before eating. 

Paris: There's a band and a rapper of this name, not to mention a smoking hot tastemaker heiress DJ. Basically, all things to all people, and comprised largely of butter.  

Rome: I wonder if male groupies of the band Rome have a whole secret sex message board category with the title, "When in Rome..."

Nazareth: People often refer to Nazareth the band as the "Nazareth (meaning the city) of bands" and to Nazareth the city as the "Nazareth (meaning the band) of cities," so this really works out.


Kansas: Unlike a lot of the other jokers on this list, members of the band Kansas are from Kansas. They met in Kansas, formed in Kansas, and were like, "We fucking love Kansas and represent the shit out of this state, so we're going to call ourselves it." Unfortunately it turns out the band is better than the state itself, but they're better than probably two-thirds of the states, so that's not exactly surprising.

Missouri: Never seemed fair that the bigger, more important part of Kansas City is in Missouri.

Alabama: After Neil Young, a Canadian-cum-Californian, had those songs about how the American south is racist, the band Lynyrd Skynyrd had a song telling Neil that southern dudes didn't need him around. Meanwhile the band Alabama had already formed and were quietly killing it, with little fanfare, inspiring killer acts like Alabama Shakes and Balthrop, Alabama. Meanwhile meanwhile civil rights legislation got passed, so everything pretty much worked out in the end.  

Texas: Everything's bigger in Texas, except for the members of this Scottish group, who still look great. 

Idaho: Both the band and the state are deadly, deadly serious, and not the kind of thing you want to drop in on unexpectantly. Some gorgeous vistas/soundscapes, however, if you're willing to endure the rest of it.

Flo Rida: The greatest rapper name ever is also the greatest state ever, though not for the faint of heart: You must enjoy insane weather, insane laws, dangerous zoo animals living as pets, samples of popular '80s songs, giant, oiled muscles, rapping where the pacing/cadence almost never varies, rampant environmental destruction, and old people. 

Arizona: Good iced tea though.

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