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The Last Words I'll Ever Write About the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

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Wed, Dec 18, 2013 at 6:46 AM

click to enlarge No - ROCK AND BREWS
  • Rock and Brews
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Music scribes have been scribbling about the terribleness of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame since its inception. Each year when the winners are announced, they are criticized, and folks ponder why we need an institution specifically designed to honor rock and roll in the first place. After all, rock -- not to mention hip-hop, which they've taken to sporadically honoring -- is supposed to be outsider art, right?

But despite these protests, the R&R HoF has wormed its way into the national discussion over the years, and now here I am announcing this year's winners: Nirvana, Cat Stevens, Peter Gabriel, Hall & Oates, Linda Ronstadt and KISS. Only, fuck these winners. And fuck the Hall. This is the last post I'm ever writing about it.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Yusuf Islam ditty, and Nirvana did, you know, have a pretty good MTV unplugged performance. But the folks left out this year -- including Deep Purple, LL Cool J, the Meters, N.W.A., the Replacements, and Kraftwerk -- would have made for a better class.

Last year I complained when Public Enemy got inducted and N.W.A. didn't. Some east coast bias shit. Fact is, they both should be in, especially our hometown heroes, without whom the most vital form of American protest music of the last 25 years -- gangsta rap -- would not exist, at least not as we know it.

But what about the Kraftwerk, without whom hip-hop itself (and EDM) would be unrecognizable? Again this year, they're not in.

And don't forget about the Replacements, arguably the most important underground band in rock history, without whom, um, Nirvana would not have been who they were. (Ever heard of the Replacements song "Never Mind"?)

Oh, and The Smiths still aren't in.

Fuck y'all.

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