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Henry Rollins: Rush Limbaugh Gets It Wrong, Again

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Thu, May 30, 2013 at 4:15 AM

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[Look for your weekly fix from the one and only Henry Rollins right here on West Coast Sound every Thursday, and come back tomorrow for the awesomely annotated playlist for his Sunday KCRW broadcast.]

See also: Henry Rollins: Remembering Ray Manzarek

As I write this I am still out here in the rapidly rising temperatures of the D.C.-MD-VA area, shooting endless hours of history-focused content. We are working our asses off, girlfriend!

There is no getting out of it -- this is how these shows are made. When we are heading into hour 14, I check myself and realize that I am fine, actually. It makes me wonder if I am a valuable asset and perhaps might have a modicum of talent for this kind of work or if I am just really good at taking a beating and showing up again and again. Yes, it is the latter.

A couple of days ago, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh link Hawaii Five-0 to the horrible Cleveland kidnapping case and, predictably, to President Obama. Partway through his corny bombastics, I realized he was talking about me!

From the gelatinous Fount Rushmore:

I happened last night to watch Hawaii Five-0 on CBS. Hawaii Five-0's premise last night was kidnapped girls, held until they were 18, and then let go or killed. Well, always killed, by a couple doing it for the welfare benefits. Reprobate husband and wife. The husband, a lazy SOB, claiming he had a disability and couldn't work. They kidnapped young girls and kept them in shackles. This was the premise of just a TV show, but I thought, 'Wow, this is fascinating.' Kept them in shackles, in a hidden room, in their run-down house somewhere on Oahu.

The Five-0 team trying to find them for the parents. One girl was missing for 12 years, found dead somewhere out in the hinterlands. And the Five-0 team, whatever the show is, they tracked him down, they found out what it was, and the guy was simply kidnapping these girls to provide tax exemption and qualifications for welfare benefits, so he didn't have to work. And then when they were no longer useful, at age 18, he killed them. Until, of course, Five-0 came on and saved the day.

Now I don't know what happened in Cleveland, but I couldn't help but make the connection. I mean, if everyone else in the low-information crowd is gonna use TV for reality, why can't I?

So, here it is, three women, missing nine-plus years, found alive, all were teenagers when they disappeared. ... Does anybody know yet why? Has the story advanced yet? ... Three brothers, not related to the three women, have been arrested in Cleveland, which voted Obama. [shouts] Not that that's got anything to do with anything. One of who has a baby. Double welfare benefits if one of the women has a baby. ... Fascinating, here the same thing happened last night on Hawaii Five-0 and I guarantee you, people wanna know why it happened on TV. It is for real.

I played the part of the "reprobate husband" in that particular episode. Amazing that a television show brought me so close to this draft-evading drug addict. There goes a few degrees of separation. Damn. I really liked those degrees.

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