Dear Willie D:
I loaned my cousin $500 more than six months ago. She promised to pay me back when she got paid, but to this day I have yet to see one red cent.
The puzzling thing is that we were so close until this incident happened. While growing up we did everything together: sleepovers, birthday parties, gymnastics, dance, you name it.
Once we became adults the pattern continued with girls night out, shopping trips and get-togethers. I am also the godmother to her daughter.
It makes me sick to my stomach that I am in this position fighting with someone who I considered to be a best friend and sister. My cousin knows that I'm merely getting by with living expenses and really didn't have the money to give in the first place.
I have asked her several times for my money back. At first she gave me excuses like, "Oh I'll pay you next week. I had to use the money for car repairs." Then she started being evasive by not returning my calls. The other day I went over to her house to confront her and we got into a big altercation.
I still love my cousin but I want my money back. Do you know of a way I can get her to repay me and salvage our friendship?
Burned By a Relative
Dear Burned By a Relative,
You stand a better chance seeing the Pope at a Geto Boys concert doing the Dougie than you do getting your scratch back. There are three things in life you should never do: cheer for the visiting team, rat out a friend and loan money to relatives. Like you, I learned the latter the hard way. I don't care if it's your mama, make sure she signs a promissory note.
Since your cousin is dodging you, send her a certified letter in the mail with a date for her to start paying you installments on the loan. Let her know if she doesn't agree to the terms or miss a payment you will drag her butt into a small claims court. On the other hand, if your cousin is willing to jeopardize a lifelong friendship over a few hundred dollars, maybe the loan was a blessing in disguise and that's what it took to expose who she truly is: an ungrateful user. If that's the case, it only cost you $500 to get rid of her.
Dear Willie D:
I really need your help. Right after my future husband and I announced we were tying the knot, one of the first questions every female in my life wanted to know was, "Who will be the matron of honor?" I have a few close friends in my circle but none have been closer longer than my childhood friend. So when I told my newest close friend, she all of a sudden became aloof and short with me.
I don't know what to think of my friend's about-face. I mean dang, I value our friendship but I've had pimples last longer than she's been around. I'm starting to get anxiety over all of this mess. How can I further avoid hurting her feelings and damaging our friendship?
Dear Oblivious Bride,
Call her up and say, "Hey, I hope you're not upset about not being my matron of honor. It doesn't mean that I value your friendship any less. This is something that was in place before I ever met you. If you're up to it I would be honored if you were one of my bridesmaid or was involved in planning everything." If she can't respect that, flip out and tell her, "Look you self-absorbed, immature wench, my childhood friend will be the matron of honor at my wedding. If you don't like it, screw you!"