Why This Song Sucks

Lil Wayne's "No Worries": Why This Song Sucks

Comments (0)


Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 4:00 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]

Song: Lil Wayne's "No Worries"

See also: Top 60 Worst Lil Wayne Lines on Tha Carter IV

History: "No Worries" is the ominous single from Lil Wayne's forthcoming I Am Not A Human Being II. When I was in the ninth grade I thought it'd be a good idea to take a bike that belonged to my neighbor (he was in the fourth grade) and use it to jump this big dirt hill that was in the yard a few houses up from us. I pedaled to the top of our street, turned around, came flying down, rode straight at the hill, hit it, ascended towards the stratosphere like a goddamn superstar, then completely panicked when the teeny-tiny bike began to tilt too far forwards.

click to enlarge BikeThingBlog.jpg

The front tire caught the lip of the driveway perfectly and I smashed my face right the fuck into the concrete. I remember waking up and seeing ankles in front of my face. Then I remember going home and staring in the mirror for forty or so hours straight. I looked like if one of those Body Worlds skinless bodies put on some jean shorts and a Selena t-shirt. This song feels the same way those couple of seconds in the air did: Super exciting at first, then Oh Jesus Christ Kill Me Now Because Death Can't Be Worse Than This shortly after.

Atmospherics: Like if Future already had enough space on his album so he was like, "Yo, Wayne, you want this?"; like if Noel Fisher (producer) said, "Well, it worked on 'How To Love,' so yeah, let's try it again."

Analysis: There are, if I just spitball it, 1,000,000,000 things wrong with "No Worries." But I've analyzed this to come up with what is maybe the greatest discovery of the last two centuries: Lil Wayne's ability to rap is directly proportional to the length of his hair.

click to enlarge WayneChartBlog.jpg

That's Wayne from the last thirteen years. He reaches an optimal hair length in 2004 (Da Drought, Da Drought 2), peaks inside of in 2006 (Dedication 2), then hangs on through 2008 (Tha Carter 3). Since then his hair has gotten longer and his rapping worse.

Now, a closer examination of this particular track. Here are the five worst lines:

"Smoke so much that Smokey the Bear have to bear with us."

Smoke so much that Smokey the Bear will have to bear with you? Smokey the Bear? Will have to bear with you? Oh, Wayne. What happened to us?


"It's okay if you turn up, just don't turn off my light years."

You're up, Alex Trebek:

Related Content

Now Trending

Los Angeles Concert Tickets


  • Air Guitar Championship Semifinals @ The Troubadour
    The Southwest Semifinals of the US Air Guitar Championship were held last Saturday at the historic Troubadour Club in West Hollywood. The event determined who would compete as regional representatives at the 2014 National Finals in Kansas City on August 9th. The colorful contestants (many of whom opted for elaborate codpieces) were judged by comedians Kristen Schaal and the Sklar Brothers. The top score was awarded to crowd-surfing guitarist Kingslayer, the mother of a teenage son who also competed wearing little more than an American flag bathing suit. All photos by Gustavo Turner.
  • Lucha VaVOOM @ The Mayan Theatre
    Lucha VaVOOM to The Mayan Theatre on Thursday night with a dose of their Sexy, Hot, Summer FUN! show to a packed house. With all the girls, guns and muscles what could go wrong? All photos by Timothy Norris.
  • The Best L.A. Concert Scenes of 2014 (So Far)
    With more secret shows, more once-in-a-lifetime performances, and more venues than any place else, there is no doubt that L.A. is one of the top places on the planet to see live music. Here are the best concert scenes of 2014 (so far).