The early '90s were the dark ages, at least for those of us who were sexually inexperienced. There were no Internets available; all we knew about getting freaky came from V.C. Andrews and Skinemax.
Color Me Badd only made things worse. The New Jack Swingers' lusty (yet sweet) anthem "I Wanna Sex You Up" left us more confused than when we were scissor-sexing our Barbie with Ken. Was it just us, or were these mock-turtleneck clad Badd boyz a poor substitute for Dr. Ruth? Let's take a closer look at the lyrics.
Come inside, take off your coat
I'll make you feel at home
Now let's pour a glass of wine
Cause now we're all alone
This sounds like a very nice way to be greeted after a long day. Also -- love your granny glasses, mustachioed CMB ringleader.
I've been waiting all night
So just let me hold you close to me
Cause I've been dying for you girl
To make love to me
No qualms here. After all, we wouldn't want you to die.
Girl you make me feel real good
We can do it 'til we both wake up
Wait, what? Do it 'til we both wake up? Last we checked, the only thing you can really do until you wake up is sleep. It's become increasingly clear that this song is a big part of the reason sexual intercourse baffled us until well into the Clinton years. (Although that cigar stuff was confusing too.)