Loading...
Why This Song Sucks

Why This Song Sucks: Flo Rida's "Good Feeling"

Comments (0)

By

Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 7:58 AM

[Editor's note: Why This Song Sucks determines why particular tracks blow using science. It appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday.]

Song: Flo Rida's "Good Feeling"

History: Ack. ACK. "Good Feeling" is, Christ, like the 19th single from Flo Rida's 23rd studio album or something. I don't know. Who can tell anymore? They all sound the same; global, spineless, stadium/club rap built solely to be monetized. At this point, he's pretty much the Black Pitbull. And the only thing worse than Normal Pitbull* is a derivative of him.

*Actually, that's not true. Normal Pitbull is also worse than Normal Pitbull. He is a paradox. Just think about him as an M.C. Escher painting. He's the impossible staircase of awfulness.

click to enlarge FloRida1.jpg

Atmospherics: Big, electro-pop nonsense; like if you had hydrogen peroxide bubbling in your spinal chord; whatever the opposite of "hefty" is; somehow manages to marginalize an Etta James sample, 1962's "Something's Got A Hold Of Me."

Scientific Analysis: This is probably what happened during the production meeting for this song:

Flo Rida: Guys, yo. Yo! Listen up. I've got a great idea for a song.

[plays "Good Feeling"]

Flo Rida: So?

Team: Well, it's kind of exactly like the last song.

Flo Rida: True, true. But check it: no one's going to notice.

Team: Um. Why?

Flo Rida: ...NIPPLES! I'M GONNA BE SHOWING MY NIPPLES FOR, LIKE, THE WHOLE VIDEO!

Team: Dude... That's amazing!

And so it was that on the eighth day that God, in his infinite glory and grace, gave the world Flo Rida's nipples.

click to enlarge Flo.JPG
There are 40+ shots in the "Good Feeling" video where Flo Rida's nipples are exposed. That's not an exaggeration. Count 'em. I did. I got 43 separate shots. Forty-three different times where I could see his nipples, or, as I took to calling them, his Brown Death Pepperonis, because there is a definite correlation between the number of times a guy sees Flo Rida's nipples and how seriously he considers placing mashing his head in with a boulder.

Related Content

Now Trending

  • Stryper Tribute Bands We Feel Should Exist

    Tomorrow night, July 31, your favorite Christian hair metal act Stryper plays Whisky-A-Go-Go. Say what you will about the Orange County collective, but you have to admire them for sticking to the script for three decades —  or is that scripture? Putting out new music as recently as last year,...
  • The 10 Best Rock 'n' Roll Pinball Machines

    I am a devoted video-game fan and a constant cheerleader for them to be considered art, but honestly I would give up most of the compelling stories and high-definition graphics in the world for the simple pinball machines. They're crafted and mechanical, and when done with a loving hand can...
  • Fanatics! Rock the Omar

    RADIO BROADCAST #279 08–03–14 Fanatics! Good radio is what it’s all about on this show and tonight, we again deliver the goods. You will notice the slightest of concepts here as we rock Omar Souleyman on both hours. He will be in LA on Sunday night. I will be interviewing...
Los Angeles Concert Tickets

Slideshows