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Incredibly Strange

Top 10 Least Sexy Sex Stunts in Rap Songs

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Wed, Jun 8, 2011 at 10:45 AM

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Rappers aren't known for their ability to make our toes curl at the merest suggestion of sex--they leave that to Jill Scott, or Jodeci, or J*Davey. No, they're likely to get us all twisted up in our bedsheets for a different reason--confusion.

Hearing one too many lines that made us go, "Huh?" led us to the conclusion rappers are into not just kinky, but kooky, sex that's really not getting us off. Here, our Top 10 Least Sexy Sex Stunts in Rap Songs. Groupies, can we get a witness?

10. Nicki Minaj

Song: "Bedrock"

Questionable sex act: 1:35, "Maybe it's time to put this pussy on your sideburns"

We understand the Pink Barbie is a little off her rocker, but how do you even come up with a line like this? Do any of the ladies want the entire bottom half of a man's face there? PSA: If physically possible, you should probably get that checked out.

9. Gucci Mane (Bonus Nicki Minaj appearance!)

Song: "Sex in Crazy Places"

Questionable sex act: 1:34, "I'll take you to Six Flags and drill you on the roller coaster"

Let's humor the Good Humor man for a moment. Slight possibility you could do this on the Ferris Wheel. Roller coaster? You might not achieve "the little death," but you'll die all right.

8. Lil Wayne

Song: "Popular"

Questionable sex act: 0:38, "Suck that pussy like the Dracula"

Lil Wayne's reputation as a lover, not a fighter, was confirmed when he had two very hot women (Lauren London and Nivea) each give birth to a child of his less than three months apart. He's called himself a goblin and martian, but the analogy of Weezy as a vampire, which by definition "feeds on the life essence of living creatures," is actually fitting. It just sounds more draining than entertaining.

7. Soulja Boy

Song: "Crank That"

Questionable sex act: "Superman that ho"

Yes, Soulja Boy debunked the rumor that "Superman that ho" was code for the stupidest sex act of all time (look it up on the bastion of veracity, Urban Dictionary), but we'll forever be grossed out by the thought of waking up with a bed sheet glued to our backs (so lazy! clean it up!).

6. YG

Song: "Pussy Killer"

Questionable sex act: 0:43, "Suckin' on her pussy with a mouthful of ice"

Sure, we know YG's probably referring to diamonds, not literally frozen water, but the layperson doesn't know that. And though we can't speak from experience, we're betting cold has the same effect on the clitoris as it does on its male counterpart, the penis. As Gucci Mane would say, "BURRR!"

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