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Coachella

Day 1: Coachella Clusterfuck!

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Sat, Apr 17, 2010 at 11:00 AM

Hey kids--and...we're back.

By now you've heard from us and other news outlets that Coachella 2010 has been renamed Clusterfuckchella 2010 and that the "organizers" (we're using the term extremely ironically) seem unable to organize a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, much less an allegedly sold-out festival for 75,000 people.

Where to begin? Friday, it was total chaos to get in.

click to enlarge Lining up for Coachella, from "The Six Stages of Attempting to Enter Coachella" - JONATHAN MCNAMARA, PHOENIX NEW TIMES

It was an even bigger chaos to get out. Every year there's some difficulty exiting the parking lots. This year the extra people turned it into a nightmare. Dazed festivalgoers ambled through the bumper-to-bumper cars while the few cops and yellow-jacket people (the poor sods in charge of the ticket mess and the angry mobs earlier in the day) did very little to direct traffic. An extremely helpful mohawked volunteer attempted to direct traffic, but many of the drivers were in "asshole-mode" after the long, frustrating day, and they tried to push the improvised traffic monitor out, or outright run him over.

[more forthcoming, including ANGRY people venting on the message boards. Oh, also apparently a bunch of musicians played but everyone was too harrowed by the logistical nightmare to be able to stop and smell the Jay-Zs. But we'll tell you about that too.]

From the angry villagers at the official Coachella message board (thread: "Complete cluster fuck trying to leave." Memo to the "organizers": don't anger people who can Tweet from their cars, or at least disable their G3!):

Its a nightmare trying to leave from lot 14. We've moved 2 feet in an hour and people are pissed off yelling at each other. Either they have nobody directing traffic to get out of here or the person doing it is a fucking moron.

I've been trying to exit and in one hour I've moved all of 40 feet... and it has only gotten worse as more people get to their cars. At this rate I might as well stay here rather than drive back to my room in Palm Springs. I was having a near perfect day until this clusterfuck.

Lot 2 is a disaster as well. Been in my car for an hour and moved about 50 feet. It takes so long to move that people are turning off their cars for the 15 minute wait before you drive 5 feet again. Something is seriously screwed, either the extra 15k people or the addition of the shuttle buses or both. Never seen it this bad.

Where the fuck is the crowd control? It took us an hour to walk to our car in lot 16 and then another 1 hour to get out of the parking lot and back to the our hotel in Rancho Mirage. So much for Coachella being a green festivial :-)

It doesn't help some people are retarded and don't follow any driver etiquette. I can understand having one entrance per lot, but at the end of the night they should have multiple gates opened up to at least prevent the potential for cars hitting each other because everyone's trying to squeeze by or merge into a single lane.

the cocksuckers in charge of this festival need their collective asses kicked.....pathetic unbelieveable. for $300 a head....hire a fucking traffic planner you piles of shit. PS I AM being nice right now

I really wish that Goldenvoice would address this with a tweet or post on the forum or something. Something to let us know that they are working on making sure this same type of bullshit doesn't happen tonight. I'm Coachella and GV's biggest supporter but last night has totally soured me on the whole festival. Hopefully they fix their shit today/tonight.

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