No. No. Um, Just. Sigh. Well, here you go. It's American former figure skater Scott Williams skating around and doing lutzes or whatnot to, you guessed it, "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Yes, those are acid wash jeans he's wearing, and yes, that is a flannel vest thing, and a bandanna. If you like train wrecks, ladies and gentlemen, start your staring. Bear witness to the part where he does frustrated push-ups. Then there's the ice moshing, fake crying, and ninja kicks. He does it all. Then there's the part where you get embarrassed, you feel a little sick to your stomach, then you're impressed at that barrel roll, then astonished by the closeup that reveals that Williams is really a Bangkok Dangerous-era Nic Cage doppelganger.
It's more stupid than contagious.
Some choice commentary after the jump:
The commentators begin with nearly 30 seconds of silence, wherein they must have been either a.) laughing or b.) unsuccessfully committing seppuku with an ice skate. Either way here are some gems:
"Very unusual choreography"
"Doesn't have a long list of medals or credentials, and he's coming at this as an amateur, but he's really coming into his own as a performer and a professional, and its always valuable to a performance and a show."
"The music is by Nirvana,this is not a group you would frequently hear. In a figure skating show. "
"This is not just something any skater can do. It takes the 'innovativeness' of Scott Williams."
Scott truly is... a figure skating mystery.