LA Weekly

BETTER THAN BEETHOVEN Jacqueline Bassan’s tongue-in-cheek musical is inspired by the life of Felix Mendelssohn — “with a modern twist.” It opens at the composer’s funeral (Ian Rhodes, supine across a piano, wearing tennis shoes), and then moves backward, chronicling his early years in the culturally rich environment of Berlin, where his prodigious talents emerged, along with those of his beloved sister Fanny (the spry Rachel Hirschfield). We’re also privy to Mendelssohn’s loving relationship with his famous grandfather, Moses (Dominick Morra), his early maturity as a musician, and the rift caused by his father’s (Frank Messina) determination to “Christianize” his name. Mendelssohn’s constant struggle against rabid anti-Semitism overshadows other interesting details of his life. (His relationship with his artist and musician mother, Leah, is never mentioned.) Luminaries like Beethoven (Lon Haber) and Wagner (Jeff Griggs) appear as buffoonish caricatures, the latter popping up in drag — a fair example of the innocuous humor that informs much of this production, under Jules Aaron’s direction. Bassan’s music and lyrics aren’t exceptional, but a few numbers such as “This Night Was Different” and “I Kept My Name,” are poignant. Brian Murphy, John Harvey and Peter Kibbe provide serviceable musical accompaniment throughout. Cool Street Music Productions at the SECRET ROSE THEATRE, 11246 Magnolia Blvd., N. Hlywd.; Fri.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m.; thru Aug. 12. (323) 960-7863. (Lovell Estell III)


THE DANCE OF THE LEMONS In her solo show, decorated by battered band instruments and the kind of pitted rolling chalk board that would lead any self-respecting school teacher to outer edges of sanity, Karen Kay Woods flies through her saga as a substitute music teacher in the Los Angeles Unified School District. Perky and with blond curls, Woods has a kind of dimpled can-do charm when running up against adversaries — administrators, colleagues, secretaries, some unwittingly nefarious, some knowingly — through her persecution by and eventual vindication in a school system with a bureaucracy that’s criminally detached from its purpose. She plays ’em all, jumping to and fro with nary a breath between. Under the direction of Ann Starbuck, who helped create and develop the show, Woods shows skill galore but not much modulation. In place of reflection, Kay supplies a torrent of comitragic observations, a stream of ironies. Taken from her obviously maddening experiences, the show is tauntingly well observed, yet also saturated by Woods’ persona as a self-appointed Joan of Arc. She always does the Right thing, whether a student hits on her or a secretary sends her to the seventh circle of hell just for requesting chairs in her classroom. Moneys are misallocated based on a combination of laziness and politics, until Woods becomes a whistleblower, and tanks start aiming their guns in her direction. The show is as entertaining as it is distressing, but one does wish Woods would occasionally take a breath, not only for the sake of allowing acting moments to settle in, but a philosophical breath that would reveal some change of heart rather than merely a change of career. TWO ROADS THEATRE, 4348 Tujunga Ave., Studio City; Fri.-Sat., 8 p.m.; thru Aug. 11. (866) 811-4111. (Steven Leigh Morris)


  DRACULA Live bats and a gigantic summer moon are co-stars in director Ellen Geer’s assured and imaginative outdoor staging of her adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel. Young Jonathan Harker (Aaron Hendry) is lured to Transylvania to meet with client Count Dracula (Chad Jason Scheppner), who turns out to have a unique way of handling anemia. Dracula then moves to London, where he slurps it up with Lucy Westenra (Christina Howard) and a bug-eating lunatic named Renfield (Jim LeFave), before meeting his Waterloo at the hands of brilliant Professor Van Helsing (Alan Blumenfeld). The woodsy Theatricum Botanicum theater space provides a perfectly atmospheric, ghost story–like backdrop, particularly the hillside set, decorated with shadowy gravestones. The three-hour plus running time makes for a dauntingly long evening, but Geer’s decision to stage the piece as feverishly pitched, unabashed melodrama is unexpectedly satisfying. The performers address the histrionic material with indelible commitment, rendering even the most bizarre situations with ironic humor and a genuine horror. Scheppner’s “Transylvanian” accent sounds a bit like Borat, but, with his eerie eyes and a leer that spits menace almost to the back row, he offers a wonderfully spooky turn as the great undead antagonist. WILL GEER THEATRICUM BOTANICUM, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga; Fri.-Sat., 8 p.m.; thru Aug. 29. (310) 455-3723. (Paul Birchall)


PICK ECCENTRIC Ernest Hemmings’ gruesomely funny play is a cynicism-fest about promiscuity and marital frustration. The Winkermans (James Thomas Gilbert and Rachel Sorsa Khoury) are a caustic pair — highly sexual and bitterly acidic with each other. The solution to their woes, they believe, is to bring in another woman to spice things up. A series of flashbacks and fantasies involving several female acquaintances, who might just be the one, draws them deeper into a malaise of darkness and disappointment. A trip to London then seems the answer, but that only ratchets up this couple’s antipathy to each other. Hemmings’ script is infused with biting wit, amplified by the leads’ satirically over-the-top performances, as well as sharp acting from the other women (Shirley Brener and Carley Marcelle). David L. Stewart’s smart, focused direction captures the play’s every nasty moment, resulting in a hilarious evening that makes one feel a bit dirty for having enjoyed it. RIPRAP STUDIO THEATRE, 5755 Lankershim Blvd., N. Hlywd.; Thurs.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.; thru Aug. 12 (818) 990-7498. (Tom Provenzano)


THE LAST DAYS OF JUDAS ISCARIOT Forget the trial of Lee Harvey Oswald — playwright Stephen Adly Guirgis goes for broke imagining what the case against Jesus’ betrayer might sound like if a lawyer from Purgatory tried to get him sprung from Hell. Fabiana Aziza Cunningham (Susan Pourfar) brings the case for her misunderstood client to a netherworldly courtroom presided over by a Civil War suicide (Robert Machray), and where she is opposed by a garrulous Arab lawyer named El-Fayoumy (Jay Harik). Witnesses include Sigmund Freud (Rick D. Wasserman), Simon the Zealot (Marco Greco), Jewish leader Caiaphas (Machray) and Judas’ mom (Suzanne Ford). Judas himself (Daniel Jay Shore) is glimpsed out of court, as when Jesus (Joshua Wolf Coleman) tries to get his ex-disciple to adore him. Judas quickly loses focus whenever Guirgis, through Cunningham, denounces witnesses like Mother Teresa (Deborah Puette) for being anti-abortion, or Pontius Pilate (Terrell Tilford) for colonial repression. Actually, Guirgis shows an unerring instinct for knowing just when and how to bring the action to a screeching halt. His shrill courtroom scenes make you wish they had been cut to a background role that would allow the more interesting flashbacks to take center stage. In the end, Judas’ biggest problem isn’t that it’s too preachy or too meandering but that it’s too much — even without intermission it runs a purgatorial two and a half hours. Director Matt Shakman makes excellent use of his Lutheran church space though, and his committed cast captures the urban speech rhythms of many of Guirgis’ characters. Pourfar manages to sparkle in a role choking on outrage; other standouts include David Clennon’s lounge-lizardy Satan and, in a lesser role, Victoria Platt as an angelic juror. BLACK DAHLIA THEATRE at Lutheran Church of the Master, 10931 Santa Monica Blvd., W.L.A.; Thurs.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.; thru Aug. 26. (866) 468-3399. (Steven Mikulan)