LA Weekly

Kashian — what kind of name is that?

It’s Armenian. But it’s Wisconsin Armenian. So when I moved to L.A. it was really weird and cool to see Armenians everywhere. It was like every day was off-to-church day. There are about 300 Armenians in Wisconsin. I’m related to almost 100 of them. My grandmother always wanted me to marry an Armenian guy but I always knew, if I were to marry any of the Armenians in Wisconsin, we’d have to check our kids for thumbs. Seriously, who wants kids with hip dysplasia?


You’ve toured for 10 years; do female comics get a lot of action on the road?

The road can be very romantic; driving from one-nighter to one-nighter — drinking with the locals and ending up in your room, weeping softly into a cracked mirror. It’s all about your standards. Anyone can get action on the road.


Who do people say you look like?

The two worst were Sheldon Leonard and Dennis Franz. The best was Jodie Foster.


What other comic, living or dead, would you most like to sleep with?

At this point, it’d be Dick Cavett. But he’s tiny. So — maybe just coffee.


Do you have groupies?

Yes, let’s not give them the press they crave. I seem to have two main fan bases. People who play video games; the women are just psyched to hear they aren’t alone and the guys always write to say, “You like video games? You should go to this Web site.” And there are a lot of sales reps who enjoy my comedy. Or, shall I say, love my dad. I, too, love my dad but they love my dad as a god. I love my dad in spite of his sales wisdom; they love my dad’s advice. Which makes me laugh and worry about them.


They say comedy comes from pain — is this the case with you?

Who did say that? Interviewers always quote that but where did it come from? Was it Mark Twain? Shania Twain? Who? I don’t know. I do know that my family mainly communicates with each other (and you) by making fun of each other (and you), hoping you’ll change. Is that pain or is that just funny?


You’re married now — does your husband still laugh at your jokes?

Hell — we’ve only been married a couple months. Yes, indeed.


Jackie Kashian performs Crowd Work, with Maria Bamford, wherein she and Ms. Bamford are required to forgo their prepared material and talk to the audience, at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 5919 Franklin Ave., Hlywd.; Fri., Dec. 22, 9:30 p.m.; $8. (323) 908-8702. Kashian’s also at Karma Coffeehouse, 1544 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Hlywd.; Thurs., Dec. 28, 9 p.m.; free. (323) 460-4188.