Lakers enforcer Metta World Peace has characteristically turned to social media to make sense of his imploding team's plans to jettison his $14.8 million contract. He's also chosen to wrap his commentary in food metaphors.
First, there was this post, which led many Twitter followers to suspect the emotional player was preparing to go public with his devastation.
Then, World Peace started talking about hamburgers.
If you know not what to say, you're not alone. To the unseasoned browser, World Peace's Twitter feed is cesspool of absurdity, a series of surreal one-liners. However, when you think about it, his burger metaphor is apt. The Lakers were clearly his favorite burger. A burger isn't a burger without the bun, those wretched lettuce-swathed low-carb meat lumps notwithstanding. Getting rid of World Peace would be like a burger losing its bun. And without a bun, a burger won't stay together. The powers in charge of the burger were so worried about salary cap-busting lettuce. Lettuce on a burger is at best an accessory and at worst a limp, mayo-logged abomination.
Sadly, those in charge, in World Peace's view, gave up a key component to protect it. The irony is, without a bun to hold it in place, the lettuce will fall off the burger. The lettuce will be useless.
That does it for the "burger thread." Now can somebody parse his new name?