Along with painful sunburns and chlorine-stung eyes, a towering cone of ice cream signifies summer in all its glory. Japanese retail monstrosity Uniqlo is tapping into everything that a drippy dessert can evoke with a new line of 31 beach-appropriate bottom-wear designs inspired by Baskin-Robbins ice cream flavors.
Considering that palm trees, surfboards, and shark fins make it on to swimming trunks, ice cream doesn't feel like a strange evolution. Unfortunately, you won't find a goofy grinning clown cone etched across the crotch.
Instead, the subtler designs of the "BR" collection ($12.90 from the Uniqlo site) possess color schemes and print patterns that echo those of specific ice cream collections. "Mint Chocolate Chip" pairs dark-brown flowers with several shades of cool sea foam. "Orange Cheesecake" has psychedelic swirls that might make it look as if your thighs are melting.
Very cool, but we'd still prefer a clown cone across the crotch.