We know California state fair food mainstay Charlie Boghosian (aka Chicken Charlie) lives to come up with gross-out (allegedly) edible concoctions. He is, after all, the person who brought us deep-fried Kool-Aid, cereal and PB&Js. But he has gone too far -- too far we say! -- with his Krispy Kreme doughnut sloppy Joe, which debuted this week at the San Diego County Fair. He might as well stuff a hamburger in a jelly doughnut and call it dohamducken (we're sure someone will get right on that now).
The "sandwich" -- mounds of sloppy Joe meat and cheddar cheese on a glazed doughnut bun -- sells for $7.95. You can get a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped pickle on the side if that isn't enough for you.
"Your stomach will thank you!" Chicken Charlie, headquartered in Del Mar, has the nerve to proclaim on his Facebook page (which we will not be "liking").
We can deal with bacon on a glazed doughnut a la Dunkin Donuts' new breakfast sandwich. That combines foods that are already within the same meal category. But a sloppyjoedo is like a mangled genetic mutation that, were there any mercy in the universe, should have died soon after birth.
We could see having a glazed doughnut for breakfast and a sloppy Joe for lunch a few hours later. We could envision a sloppy Joe for lunch and then a glazed doughnut for dessert a while later. But combining a sloppy Joe with a glazed doughnut is just all kinds of wrong. It's like having a creepy boss put his hand on your knee under the table in a meeting. The proximity is beyond inappropriate. It's disgusting.
Plus a sloppy Joe is not fair-friendly food. It is, by definition, sloppy.
Keep an eye out for Chicken Charlie and the KKSJ at the Orange County Fair from July 12 to August 11 and the Los Angeles County Fair from August 30 to September 29. That way you can run in the other direction toward something more palatable, like cotton candy or a corndog.
According to brave sampler Chris Morrow, who posted a video of the tasting experience on CNN.com, "The Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe is a taste conflict of sweet and savory that are not complimentary and don't register at the same time. You taste one, you taste the other and while both are good, the confusion in your mouth is weird and awesome!" Call us hipster food snobs who know the proper spelling of "complementary," but we could never be that hungover.
Why not go all the way and deep fry that sucker, Chicken Charlie?
Stay classy, San Diego.