Ever see a poster for a show or, even better, one of those gluttonous, $100-a-head food events, and think, man, is that ugly? Ever say to yourself, I could do better with some gnawed-up crayons and the back of an envelope? Now's your chance. Set to go down at Randall's Island in New York on Sept. 12, the Whole Foods-sponsored mega-event Meatopia -- billed rather grotesquely as a "city of meat" -- is looking for a nice poster. There's a contest to pick the very best one, and you, or anyone for that matter, are welcome to enter it.
There are rules to this thing, and we don't want to bore you by listing all of them. Submissions are due by July 13. You have to download the logo and put that in. You have include certain information about the event.You have to actually make the poster about Meatopia. Read the rules and start fiddling with Photoshop or whatever you people use to make things look pretty and professional.
Want some free ideas? Here you go. John, Paul, Ringo and George as a cow, pig, sheep and chicken, respectively, in the early Hamburg years, with "Meatopia" blinking on the marquee above the stage. Or rip off The Far Side a little and do a nice cartoon of a couple nervously entering a steakhouse. The waiters, bartenders, chefs and hostess are all well-dressed, well-coiffed cows with beatific smiles etched across their mugs. Or do a drawing of a lovely beach commune where everyone is living in harmony and double-stacking cheeseburgers. Visible on a pristine white flag poking out of the sand, the commune's name is, you guessed it, "Meatopia."
If your poster is selected, you'll receive two tickets to Meatopia, a pat on the back and a 5-pound bag of LaFrieda Black Label beef, which seems a little bit grody for some reason. Prepare yourself for some lewd jokes when you're on the subway lugging that sack of meat back to the hotel.