Our readers demanded something more reliably hip. A bicycle gadget so specialized and expensive that even the most costly beverage would still register as ironic. We searched, and found you that device. Presenting the Bicycle Can Cage by WalnutStudiolo, a $64 contraption of handcrafted leather capable of holding nothing more than a single canned beverage. Strap in a can of Pabst and you're unflinching hip. Feeling more like a tall boy? According to the our calculations (expressed cost of gadget/ cost of can), you're still looking extremely ironic.
Sure, the Bicycle Can Cage is not infallibly hip. The equation would fail if you were to buy a can of Carlsberg Jacobsen Vintage 1, for example, or any beer that costs more than Coachella tickets. But even then, the idea that you would choose to buy a $400 beer in a can when it also comes in a bottle is proof of your dedication to irony.