LAist got the backstory from CBS Sunday Morning contributor/rapmaster Conor Knighton, who says it took him more than a year to visit every place but just minutes to concoct this rap. A rap is fitting, really, considering Gold was once a music critic for this very publication and wrote for Rolling Stone. Whether he's a greater expert on SGV or N.W.A is still debated.
Knighton's little ditty is to the tune of a familiar Jay-Z song, reminding us that even when we've got 99 problems, restaurants ain't one if Jonathan Gold has anything to do with it.
Video after the jump: