2011 was quite a year in the Los Angeles dining scene. If you had told us a year ago that we'd be eagerly wolfing down plates of alligator schnitzel, polenta sushi, and corned beef tongue sandwiches from a Michael Voltaggio shop with the word "sack"
in its title, we wouldn't have believed you. The future may seem unpredictable, but this year we plan on using our powers of prognostication to show you exactly, with 100% certainty, what next year holds in store. Turn the page for our top 10 food predictions for 2012.
10. Chef Ludo Lefebvre
finally opens a permanent restaurant in Los Angeles to much fanfare. The complex and revolutionary reservation system will determine seatings via several intense rounds of rock-paper-scissors. His recent line of baby foods
turns out to be a clever ploy to make children crave the taste of foie gras, leading tantrum-weary parents to reverse California's foie gras ban.
, not merely content with making their own vermouth
, will begin illegally distilling their own spirits. Some will even become bootleggers, racing across town in brightly-painted hot rods to deliver homemade moonshine. Unfortunately, a freak still explosion will hamper the movement's growth.
8. Homemade dairy products
will become commonplace, ensuring that the phrase "churning your butter" will no longer be used solely as a sexual euphemism. Purists will insist on growing their own yogurt cultures
, which inadvertently leads to massive advances in bio-warfare.
7. Son of a Gun
chefs Vinny Dotolo and Jon Shook
complete their scientific quest to successfully deep-fry every known food item. Their research later leads to the development of a Chicken-Fried Steak/Steak-Fried Chicken hybrid, a project that had stumped Paula Deen for several years.
6. Underground dinners
grow so rapidly in popularity that blindfolds, treasure maps, and forced kidnappings become necessary to maintain their secrecy. Restaurant critic Jonathan Gold
vanishes for a solid month after one such dinner; he is later found wandering through Joshua Tree muttering incoherently about truffle-infused pork belly.