Your Guide to Eating the 2011 NBA Finals | Squid Ink | Los Angeles | Los Angeles News and Events | LA Weekly
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Food & Sports

Your Guide to Eating the 2011 NBA Finals

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Fri, Jun 10, 2011 at 10:00 AM

click to enlarge dirknowitzkimouthguard.jpg
If his television appearances are any indication, Dirk Nowitzki's favorite dish is the white mouthguard he constantly bares and chews over the course of a game. Judging by his deft shooting (even in the face of Miami's rigorous defensive efforts, an injured finger, and a sinus infection) the large German is hungry--for a championship.

If you've seen Lebron play an exhausting round of horse for a mere sack of McDonald's, you'll know that Miami is also hungry. But which team is hungrier? The series is 3-2 in favor of Dallas.

Game 6 is Sunday evening, an hour or so before dinner time. As you sit down to watch, you might be hungry too. Perhaps you would benefit from our team-themed menu suggestions...

Welcome to Miami. Have a cuba libre or a mojito. Maybe you could add a few drops of whatever Kool-Aid the "experts" were sipping when they wrote this series off after one game. Have a wedge of key lime pie, but use matzoh for the crust in honor of the half-million Jewish folks who call Miami home. Also, enjoy a toasted Cuban sandwich stacked with roast pork, ham, Swiss cheese, mustard, and pickles. An alternative would be to consume nothing in tribute to body-conscious South Beach club-going types who take staying trim to obsessive extremes.

click to enlarge HERVIOLETSKY/FLICKR
  • hervioletsky/flickr

Howdy, you like Dallas. First of all, you need a huge blonde-hued pretzel with extra salt to represent Dirk's Germanitude. Everything's bigger in Texas, even pretzels. You'll probably want a Budweiser to go with that. This isn't a metaphor or anything, but just as one star cannot win a championship without consistent support, a meal is not complete without some quality side dishes. Texas is barbecue country, so some brisket or beef ribs would make sense. Think outside the styrofoam though. What about a selection of globe-trotting sides to represent the unutilized or ineffective non-citizens riding the Dallas pine? Peja Stojaković's jumpshot is fading like the Cheshire Cat, but imagine some tlačenica (head cheese) sharing a three-sectioned plate with a brick of cassoulet for French reserve center Ian Mahinmi and accras (cod fritters) to represent Guadaloupe, the birthplace of injured shooting guard Rodrigue Beaubouis.

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