Bloated with absurdly extravagant baubles, even the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog pales in comparison to the Iron Dog 05 Huraxdax.
At $4 million, this gold-plated, wood-fired range is the world's most expensive stove. (Iron Dog also makes a cheaper version in silver for the profligate penny-pincher.)
Designed by sculptor Joseph Michael Neustifter, the Huraxdax is made to order and takes two-and-a-half months to fabricate. Not quite a last-minute stocking stuffer. Not a show pony either.
The Huraxdax stands two-and-a-half feet high, weighs 572 pounds and works at 82% efficiency. (We have no idea how that last statistic was quantified, but it sounds very official.) The gilded range heats up to 1,000-square feet of space, which also makes it the world's most expensive space heater.
Indeed, the Huraxdax is full of practical applications and "can be put to everyday use," according to the Iron Dog website. Perhaps for making pizza. We'd be wary of soiling Midas' stove, but if one can drop $4 mil on a stove, one can spring for a maid.
Stamped on the sides and back of the stove is the word "huraxdax." Our Bavarian is a tad rusty, but we want to believe the reported translation -- "decampment of joy" -- because that makes this the world's saddest and most poetic stove. Maybe your joy departs when you realize you've spent $4 million on a stove. (Don't ask how much the vegetable peeler costs.)
"Nothing is as free as art and the people who love it," the Iron Dog website declares. And nothing is as excessive as the Iron Dog 05 Huraxdax and the people who buy it.