The Turkey Hotline: An IQ Test for The Holiday-Challenged

Comments (0)


Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 11:42 AM
click to enlarge FLICKR/TUCHODI

Every year, it seems, Butterball does more than produce turkeys. The company also mans the Turkey Talk-Line, a hotline for those with holiday turkey issues. Reuters, bless them, recently ran a story called "Are you smarter than your turkey?" -- in which they called up the hotline to learn some of the more ludicrous questions posed.

The Turkey Talk-Line has been open for 29 years and responds to over 100,000 questions each November and December, so they've had a lot of experience answering questions. You may indeed be smarter than your turkey, but how much smarter is apparently up for grabs. Since many of us roast turkeys over the Christmas holiday as well as Thanksgiving, it's something to keep in mind.

So, via the UK-based news service ("remember, these are from regular people, who can vote and own firearms and sing at karaoke bars, just like you and me"), we have some actual questions fielded during past Thanksgivings:

Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?

Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?

Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?

If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?

Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?

Of course, you'll have to call up Butterball yourself to find the answers. Unless you know a Reuters journalist. Maybe packing a turkey and a chainsaw.

Related Content


Now Trending


  • Malibu Pier Restaurant and Bar
    Malibu Pier Restaurant and Bar, with chef Jason Fullilove at the helm, is in the two buildings at the pier’s entrance that used to be Beachcomber Cafe and Ruby’s Diner. Those buildings, which have been overhauled completely, reflect both the pier’s 109-year-old history and the cultural import of Malibu itself.
  • The Tasting Menu Trend
    In Los Angeles especially, but increasingly across the country, restaurants are either switching to tasting menus, putting a greater focus on a tasting-menu option (while offering à la carte items as well), or opening as tasting-menu operations from day one. The format that used to be the calling card of only the fanciest of restaurants is becoming ubiquitous, even at places where the waiter calls you “dude” and there isn’t a white tablecloth in sight.
  • Milo's Kitchen: A Treat Truck for Dogs
    Milo's Kitchen, a part of California-based Big Heart Pet Brands, is taking its homestyle dog treats on the road this summer with the "Treat Truck." The dogified food truck is making stops all over the country, ending up in New York early September. The truck stopped at Redondo Beach Dog Park Friday morning entertaining the pups with treats, a photo-booth and play zone. Milo's Kitchen Treat Truck offered samples of the line's six flavors, all with chicken or beef as the first ingredient, and all made in the U.S.A. with no artificial colors or preservatives. All photos by Nanette Gonzales.