Breaking News: Despite gastrointestinal evidence indicating otherwise, the chili dog is not invincible. According a Los Angeles Times report, Pink's Hot Dogs was robbed at 3:35 yesterday morning. Thankfully no injuries were reported, presumably no customers were around (the stand had already closed) and all chili dogs have been accounted for. But the bandit reportedly did manage to make off with the tip jar when the employees said they could not access the safe.
The tip jar? Granted, plenty of tourists frequent Pink's, so perhaps that jar was loaded with five spots from Europeans who haven't quite mastered their United States presidents (in all fairness, George Washington does sort of look like an older Abraham Lincoln after a few too many Johnnycakes).
Even still, Squid Ink has peered into numerous fast food and coffee shop tip jars throughout Los Angeles over the years, and typically we've found little more than a few laundry loads worth of change inside. This leads us to believe the suspect may be an out-of-towner (he was at Pink's), or perhaps simply a generous local tipper himself, though we find the latter hard to imagine.
Should you notice any mustard stains on the corner of a suspicious mouth, report them to the LAPD at (213) 922-8205.