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More Titles for the Die Hard Franchise 

Chinese cyber-terrorist (read: hacker) Mai Linh (Maggie Q), also dies because of a vehicular fire, at the end of Live Free or Die Hard. (It makes you glad to take the subway.) But this time, McClane almost goes down as well, when the SUV he uses to run Linh down falls into an elevator shaft and dangles there. After a struggle, and some sexual tension, McClane knocks Linh out cold and high-tails it just in time. The SUV falls to the bottom of the elevator shaft and -- of course -- explodes. For something so Boston-bleak, and set on the Eastern Seabord, an accent's required. New title? Pahk the Cah and Die Hahd.
5 of 7
With the resurrection of the Die Hard movie franchise (number five, A Good Day to Die Hard, is out Valentine's Day), inevitably comes reflection. Where did Bruce Willis' hair go? Why did the series stop numbering its films? And have the movies always had such ridiculous titles? The answer to the last one, certainly, is yes. Die Hard 2: Die Harder was plenty goofy, but A Good Day to Die Hard significantly raises the bar. And if there's anything Die Hard takes as seriously as its titles, it's killing people. In the spirit of absurdity, exhaustion, and a great longing for Willis' long-lost locks, we present you with bar-raising titles of our own, inspired by the most spectacular deaths of the series. By Diana Clarke.

See Also:
- A Good Day to Die Hard, and to Die Alone by Keith Phipps.
Published on February 12, 2013
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