10 Reasons Why Your Waiter Is Judging You
2. Your child is screaming or running around the restaurant or playing peek-a-boo under the table, and you're allowing it.
If your child is not sitting at the table where they belong, your waiter is writing you off as a piss-poor parent or a pushover. And if that's not enough to deter you, the safety hazard should: What if your kid runs into a server carrying scalding tea or soup? Hire a babysitter if you can't control junior. And if it's after 9 p.m. and your child is under the age of eight, that kid should be in bed.
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Here's some cold hard truth: Your waiter is judging you. And it's not because you scanned our restaurant's list of preachy, precious dishes made with esoteric (but local!) ingredients and then asked what celeriac or chimicurri are. Waiters don't care about that. Answering questions like that is their job. No, it's not about what you know, it's about how you act, and your waiter is surveying you to determine whether you're a badly behaved diner. How do they know? Presenting the 10 most obvious signs. By Hannah Palmer Egan. Follow her! @FindThatHannah
All illustrations by Kevin Cannon, cartoonist
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Published on September 16, 2013