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10 Reasons Why Your Waiter Is Judging You 

8. You want your steak well done.


If the idea of eating meat makes you so uncomfortable that you can't bear to slurp its delicious, bloody, animal juices, get something that is best eaten cooked through... Like chicken or eggplant or pasta. It's the restaurant's job to serve you food that you'll enjoy, and we're not going to tell you you can't sear all of the animal spirit and life blood from a 30-day dry-aged, heritage beef steak. But here's where your waiter draws the line: If you MUST have your steak well done, it's going to take extra time to cook it all the way through, so please be patient, and don't take your mounting hunger out on us.
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Here's some cold hard truth: Your waiter is judging you. And it's not because you scanned our restaurant's list of preachy, precious dishes made with esoteric (but local!) ingredients and then asked what celeriac or chimicurri are. Waiters don't care about that. Answering questions like that is their job. No, it's not about what you know, it's about how you act, and your waiter is surveying you to determine whether you're a badly behaved diner. How do they know? Presenting the 10 most obvious signs. By Hannah Palmer Egan. Follow her! @FindThatHannah

All illustrations by Kevin Cannon, cartoonist

See also:
5 Drink Orders That Let Everyone Know You're an Asshole
The 10 Worst People in NYC Restaurants
Published on September 16, 2013

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