From Behind Our White Picket Fence Week 200 By Freddy and Eddy

Our 200^th Column – Reflections from 199 Weeks

Four our bi-centennial column, we envisioned some sort of grand statement, dramatic epiphany, or single profound observation on sexuality behind our white picket fence after almost four years of writing about it in various forms. However, like our rather mundane and meandering – though happy - marriage itself, the only great discover to be mined from all our adventures in both marriage and the adult industry is that sex, and our pursuit of keeping it prominent in our relationship, remains as mysterious as it is elusive. That is to say that, like most couples in committed relationships, our sex life is no better or worse than the majority of pairings across the Southland and a surprising variety of factors determines whether or not we’ll engage in sexual acts of any kind from day to day. And though we test, review, and sell all manner of adult products as our business, this reality has little to do with our sexual satisfaction or passion level (though admittedly playing with all these things IS fun) as does our financial situation, stress levels, diet, and fitness.

We’ve now been together over 21 years and will celebrate our 19^th wedding anniversary this coming April. We continue to engage in sex around four times per week and most of our encounters are as passionate as back in our dating days. As we like to repeat as mantra, “Instead of DOING it all night long, it now TAKES all night long.” We emphasize this to mean both physically, whereby we’re certainly not the spry young things who used to tie ourselves into impressive positions even porn stars would envy; and mentally, in that “sex” has truly evolved into “making love,” and we treat each encounter as a very sacred opportunity. An interlude to be lengthened, savored, cherished, and used as a vehicle to both move closer to our definition of god (see last week’s column) and to reaffirm our love for each other over and over and over.

Four years of columns, whew! In that time span we’ve enjoyed prosperous times in our brick and mortar store and website, watched our son blossom into a well-adjusted and giving 10 year old, started a surfing club for kids, deepened our ties to Burning Man, and subsequently suffered financial ruin through our mother’s horrific decline into dementia and Parkinson’s disease, culminating with the closing of our beloved store this past June. Through it all we’ve faced these challenges together, knowing that even if we were to lose everything material, living homeless together would be a choice we’d gladly embrace over any other alternative. It’s this unflinching and unfailing commitment to each other that brings our lives true meaning and motivates us to strive for great achievement, even if that achievement means only living to walk to the ocean’s edge one more time. This simple value is all we have and all we want.

200 columns and still hanging on is as surprising to us as reaching 20 years of marriage, which we fully expect to accomplish in 2011, despite naysayers way back in 1988 when we first got together. Hopefully, we’ll be detailing the event (and some of you will join us in celebrating) around the time From Behind Our White Picket Fence number 300 rolls around.

Don’t Miss: We love Dust. Nirvana of Beverly Hills presents Dust, every Thursday evening from 8:30pm to 2am. Dust features chill and down tempo music (with performances from DJ Braden and friends) in a gorgeous setting perfect for connecting with friends or sneaking away for an amorous encounter. No cover charge, dress code, or attitude allowed, so come hang with a decidedly Burner-friendly crowd who transcend all ages, incomes, and boundaries. Show up before 10pm for drink specials, sensual music, art, performance, and fashion fun in a stellar location worthy of our LA tribe! Visit the Club Nirvana website for more details or visit Dust on Facebook here.

Sex Tip: Fantasize! Fantasy is a wonderful way to recharge your sexual "batteries." The sexier we feel throughout the day, the better -- and no doubt, more frequent -- the sex will be. Take pleasure in daydreams. Hold onto those sexy or romantic thoughts just a bit longer. Treat yourself to their sensuality. Make it part of your life. Men think about sex at least XXX times a day. This preoccupation allows a man to stay in the "ready, willing and able" mode. Priming the pump allows a woman to enjoy the quicker response time and greater spontaneity that men have always been teased about.

Sex Fact: Both men and women can be turned on by the aromas of wine. The scents of many wines are believed to replicate human pheromones, the chemical substances that cause behavioral responses in humans.

Freddy and Eddy – aka Ian and Alicia Denchasy – can be reached via e-mail at freddy@freddyandeddy.com. All past articles are archived here on their website and please support their efforts by shopping the Freddy and Eddy online store.