What to Stock in Your New Year's Eve Hangover Survival Kit

Never HungoverEXPAND
Never Hungover
Matt Miller

Every year the same thing happens on New Years Day. You look at all the pictures you took (and posted) from the night before and you would be washed with a tidal wave of shame if it weren’t for the pounding headache, nausea, fatigue and furry taste in your mouth, like something curled up on your tongue, farted and died.

This year, don’t let that regretful hangover happen to you. With wine and Champagne drinkers in mind, prepare yourself with these essentials for surviving the wrath of New Years Eve:

What to Stock in Your New Year's Eve Hangover Survival Kit

SO2Go: Are you one of those people who are done before you get started because you're sensitive to sulfites? This New Year's Eve, keep a bottle of SO2Go in your pocket. By spraying SO2Go into a glass or bottle of wine or bubbly, this product claims to drastically reduce "free sulfites" in the wine and reduce the chances of an adverse reaction for those with sulfite sensitivities. 

Sulfites are stabilizers used by winemakers to preserve wine and many people blame sulfite allergies for their extreme wine headaches. The truth is that most wines contain about 150 ppm of sulfites per bottle and the average container of dried fruit sold at Whole Foods contains a minimum 1000 ppm. Really, only about 1 percent of people who drink wine have actual sulfite sensitivity, and those people who have dangerously acute asthma know who they are. That being said, in these times of chronic orthorexia in which we live, why not play it safe and have a great night. Right? 

Never Hungover: A blend of herbal extracts like aloe vera extract, milk thistle extract, rhodiola rosea root extract and green tea extract that work together to keep you from suffering the wrath of a Champagne headache, or that feared red-wine headache. Served in two-ounce bottles, one dose can either be consumed like a shot or mixed, and is to be taken per every four alcoholic drinks consumed. So, for you wine drinkers that know there are four large glasses to a bottle, that’s one dose of Never Hungover per bottle of wine opened.

What to Stock in Your New Year's Eve Hangover Survival Kit
Wine Wipes

Wine Wipes: Once you’ve started for the night, someone, at some point, is going to pull out their phone to capture the festivities in a picture. Don’t be one of those people with purple teeth gracing the pages of Facebook and Instagram this year just because you got over-zealous on the Rioja. Compact and effective, wine wipes will quickly rid your teeth of that electric purple coating – a must-have item if you’re a big Napa cab or zinfandel drinker! 

iBreath: What if you have your car and you want to drive? You’ve been safe and responsible and haven’t let yourself go, but still, you did have that midnight toast – and toasted a few of your friends throughout the night – are you ready to get behind the wheel of your car? With the iBreath you can find out. A helpful little contraption that you can keep in your pocket, iBreath plugs into the base of your iPhone and features a light emitting LED screen and a flip out tube to blow into. You blow a steady stream of air and the device will read your estimated BAC (blood alcohol content) by measuring the presence of ethanol vapor on your breath.

2005 Comtes, NV Agrapart & Fils, XXIV karatEXPAND
2005 Comtes, NV Agrapart & Fils, XXIV karat
Matt Miller

Now, what kind of a wine article would this be if there weren’t at least a couple of suggestions on what to drink while toasting in the new year?

2005 Comtes de Champagne blanc de blanc by Taittinger:$125
Soft crème and nervy acidity coax out a chalky mineral as the backbone to this wonderful Champagne. Notes of crisp yellow apple and hints of lemon zest are connected with a layer of mild honey.

NV Agrapart & Fils Blanc de Blanc Grand Cru Terroirs: $55
Notes of white flower rise to the top of the glass along with suggestions of mint intermingling with notes of soft orchard fruit and green apple skin balanced out by wet stone and gravel dust.

NV Domaine Parigot et Richard Cremant de Bourgogne Blanc de Blanc: $21.99
While this one isn’t Champagne, not all of the great bubbles have to come from there exclusively. In the case of the Parigot, this fresh and harmonious blend of chardonnay and aligoté from Burgundy supply everything that you want in a Champagne, without the price tag. Vibrant acidity and a tingling bubble, this cremant captures notes of citrus and green pear along with stone and white flowers. Last, and far least, everyone needs a novelty bottle to pop at midnight.

XXIV Karat Grand Cuvée, Lodi Ca.: 32.99
Remember Goldschlager? Well, someone has taken the gold flakes from that cinnamon syrup alcohol and put it into a really bad bottle of bubbles. Slightly sweet and ripe with notes of honey and bile, XXIV Karat Grand Cuvée manages to both smell and taste like the morning after the night before. And, just so you can see how rad this bottle will taste, the good folks who produce this stuff have illuminated the bottle for you. Now, you have a choice of settings to let everyone around you know how bad you’re going to feel the next day after drinking this stuff. There’s glow, flash, and strobe settings activated by a small button on the bottom side of the bottle.

Toast with this one, but don’t swallow. And if you do, remember to double up on your dose of Never Hungover.

Matt Miller is a freelance writer and wine specialist with certifications from SWE, CMS, WSET. He tweets at @lawinewriter Want more Squid Ink? Follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook

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