[Updated:] The First Annual "Craft for Crap" Celebration at Beer Belly
Update: 8/24, 2:15 p.m. In a very Sheriff of Nottingham move, the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (everyone sing! ABC, defg, hijk)has notified the would-be Robin Hoods at Beer Belly that the giving out of a free craft beer in exchange for a less-than-worthless crap beer is a violation of their alcohol license. Therefore, Robin Hood, uh, Beer Belly will not be able to give away free beer. Not to be stymied by the man, they will offer each of the three Cismontane craft beers below for a penny, aka one cent, for your trade-in discount. It is still one craft per crap, so bring your Abraham Lincoln on copper-plated zinc (who knew?) so the man doesn't come down on the good folks at Beer Belly. Our exhaustive research on this update just revealed that it costs the U.S. government $1.79 to make each penny. With facts like this, it's hard to figure out how we've spiralled into this insane deficit, eh?
Not since the L.A. County Sheriff's Department conducted a guns for gift cards exchange during the 2009 holiday season -- nothing embraces the spirit of giving like giving up your assault rifle for a $200 gift card to Best Buy -- has there been a more noble social exchange program than Beer Belly's First Annual "Craft for Crap." A celebration!
Owner Jimmy Han, aka HopHead Jim, is reaching out in a humanitarian effort to invite you to bring your friend you call "ghetto bag boy", or that special Coors Light-drinking girl, to Beer Belly on Sunday, August 28 at 3 pm. Bring the crappiest beer they can find in the back of their fridge or the cooler in the garage, and Beer Belly will exchange a fine craft beer for the crappy one. Maybe, just maybe, they will see the light. There is a limit of one craft for crap exchange per customer, otherwise HopHead Jim would be broke by midnight, sooner if the LBC (birthplace of the ghetto bag of beer) shows up.
Cismontane Brewing will be in the house to celebrate this momentous occasion by sharing some craft goodness: Citizen (a California Common), Black's Dawn (Imperial Stout), and Coulter (an IPA). These are three of the finest local beers and showcase two great, new brewers in Evan Weinberg and Ross Stewart. Han will also have his usual stellar line-up of other craft beers to choose from.
If you are one of the growing legions of sophisticated craft beer drinkers but still hang out with guys (girls are too cool for this) who show up to your house with a ghetto bag of assorted crappy beers -- you know the bag -- two bottles of Bud, one can of Coors Light, a PBR tall boy, and a few Coronas from the summer of 2010, this is your chance to convert a bad beer drinker. Don't you love it when they proudly point out that they classed up the bag they brought you with a Heiny from a wedding reception?
Just like the household hazardous waste round-ups, load up the car with crappy beer and come home from a glorious day at Beer Belly empty-handed but with a full heart, uh, belly.
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