Like Alton Brown, we abhor single-use utensils, but the science of kitchen gadgetry (not to mention the power of advertising) is all about convincing you to buy useless products to solve problems you don't really have. In that vein, we present our version of a holiday gift guide, for the person in your life who needs a dash of whimsy.
5. Bodum Frykat -- $49.95 (Bodum USA)
Measuring only 13.4" in diameter and made from enamel-coated steel in six bright, saturated colors (canary yellow, tangerine, chartreuse, aqua, white and black), this may be the most adorable BBQ grill ever. Will it handle a side of St. Louis ribs? A pork shoulder? Anything beyond a few burgers? No, but it's perfect for that romantic barbecue for two.
4. Babycakes Cupcake Maker -- $29.99 (JC Penney)
We've written about this pastel-coated nonsense once, and we're still not sure why it exists. We do, however, expect to start seeing these cupcake makers in thrift stores everywhere, tucked between dusty George Foreman Grills and battered LPs of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' "Whipped Cream & Other Delights."
3. Star Trek Enterprise Pizza Cutter -- $24.95 (ThinkGeek)
Because if you're nerdy enough to spend your dough on this, you're definitely rolling out and baking your own pizza dough. We love Star Trek. We love pizza. We love watching Star Trek while eating pizza. But we're not skeptical that a site best known for creating the Tauntaun sleeping bag can make a decent pizza cutter.
2. Egg Cuber -- $3.85 (Country Kitchens)
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What kind of chicken lays a square egg? None that we know of, but with this handy gadget, you can transform the typical, boring hardboiled egg into a cubist masterpiece. And why not? We subvert nature all the time and in far more dangerous ways. Besides, ovals are so passé, and as Huey Lewis once said to The News: It's hip to be square.
1. Lightsaber Chopsticks -- $16-20 (Amazon)
Kotobukiya makes a series of collectible Star Wars-themed chopsticks that range in price from $16.50 for the Darth Maul and Mace Windu set to $19.34 for the Darth Maul and Luke Skywalker set to $19.98 for the Yoda and Luke set. May the force be with your GI tract.