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The Gamepad Cutting Board: Smash Garlic Like Mario (the Other One) Smashes Bowser

Gamepad Chopping Board
Gamepad Chopping Board
Firebox.com

The original Nintendo controller -- so simple, so rectangular -- is a touchstone of nostalgia for many of us, a reminder of a time when two simple red buttons were all you needed to jump, shoot, and beat Bowser at Mario's own game. UK company Firebox takes us back to the time of Nintendo thumbs with its Gamepad Chopping Board ($23), designed like the ever classic controller.

It's not an exact duplicate, as the designers carefully and artfully considered what exactly you would be controlling: where the original Nintendo logo was placed, you have a cartoonish sliced carrot instead. And rather than the "Select" and "Start" printed on the controller, you have the slightly less motivating verbs "Slice" and "Dice."

Functionally, it does everything a cutting board is supposed to do. Roughly 16 inches by 12 inches, the board is made with toughened glass on non-slip rubber feet. It's both stain- and odor-resistant, which means you can cut vegetables as Link would slice Octorocs in the Kingdom of Hyrule. The only thing missing is the ability to tap up up down down left right left right B A Start to get the 30 extra lives you need to chop the vegetables, cook the dinner, wash the dishes, walk the dog, play with the kids, finish the office work, clean the house, and save the princess before the day is done. Tomorrow, at least, you can restart.


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