Obama Foodorama Reports Conspiracy Theorists Not Amused By White House Pastry Chef's Molecular Gastronomy
Obama is in big trouble. Last election, he slipped by, almost tanking in the wake of the 2007 arugula dust-up. It was also reported, with near-devastating fall-out, that the would-be leader preferred wine to beer. And now, over four years later, the incumbent faces yet another scandal. It's not the birth certificate. It's not his middle name. It's far, far worse. According to the great blog Obama Foodorama, Obama has been associating with unsavory types -- namely a pastry chef who runs around showing off his molecular gastronomy skills, eschewing nature's bounty for chemical compounds and claiming, if the ever-reliable conspiracy rags are to be believed, that all Americans will soon be assimilated.
It started in mid-July when executive pastry chef Bill Yosses plied his dark arts with "Science and the Future of Cuisine," a demo at Dublin's Euroscience Open Forum 2012. The performance was likely similar to that which he gave at UCLA in June -- a little liquid nitrogen, some crystals, puffs of smoke. Most food people who disdain molecular gastronomy find all the mad-magician-ship gimmicky, silly, maybe even slightly disrespectful to food in its perfect natural form. But dangerous? Apparently so.
Obama Foodorama has gathered an array of reactions to Obama's pastry chef's extracurricular habits, including a piece in Natural News, in which the author frets overs this "troubling foreshadowing of what may soon come for Americans":
Some scientists are apparently of the strong persuasion that man-made food items are preferable to natural foods, and the former is what they hope the public will eventually accept ... The average person, in other words, will eventually be expected to happily eat green gelatin-like blobs made of chemical compounds, along with ambiguous cracker products that resemble 'Soylent Green,' while the White House and the world's other elites continue to eat wholesome, natural foods, including those hand-picked from Michelle Obama's organic garden.
In an election year, you never know what may take hold. The smart money's on jobs, healthcare, and marriage equality, but if some major media outlets run with this one, Obama may have some explaining to do. Yosses insists that his employer's family prefers traditional, "happy" recipes, but the proof may have to be in the pudding. Camera crews hovering around the dinner table. The FDA's Margaret Hamburg verifying the meal's safety. Sean Hannity jabbing at an apple pie slice with his free paw shielding his eyes, just in case some foam spurts out or a stray round of nutmeg Pop Rocks zaps toward his quivering maw.
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