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Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

Yes, National Go Topless Day was invented by some alien cult to garner attention. And yes, at least one U.S. city (New York) already grants women the equal right of men to go shirtless in public.

Inspired by the mammary zeitgeist we were curious as to whether we could actually cook an entire breast-themed meal.

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

Shopping for ingredients required a trip to at least three sex shops -- and a really fancy grocery store -- but finally we found them at a store next to The Condor, the world's oldest topless bar in San Francisco.

Materials

--"Titaroni," from the "Areola" region of Italy.

--Boob Shaped Ice Tray

--Body Frosting (for um dessert)

For the "Boob Cubes":

--Pink Lemonade

--Cranberry Juice

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

We froze the cranberry juice first for a more realistic effect. Then layered with the lemonade.

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

Then chilled like a normal ice cube. To spectacular effect.

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

Boob Cubes in cocktail glass. Tasty.

For the "Titty Alfredo":

Pasta

--20 ounces "Titaroni" pasta

Sauce

--1/4 cup butter

--1 cup heavy cream (the Titaroni box says to use a "D cup of breast milk." We thought a sub would be okay here)

--1 clove garlic, crushed

--1 1/2 cups freshly grated Parmesan cheese

--1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

We melted the butter in a medium saucepan over medium low heat, then added the cream and other ingredients in order of appearance (parsley last), mixing thoroughly.

Surprisingly, the boob shaped pasta was great al dente and the dish looked spectacular on the plate.

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

And for dessert:

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal

That's right, body frosting. We didn't even bother putting it on a cake. Wink, wink.

Not Safe for Dinner: How to Make a Boob-Themed Meal