For the man in your life with a subscription to American Rifleman, this Valentine's Day, we suggest chocolate weaponry. Yes, pistols, bullets and grenades, molded from chocolate and packaged in wonderfully authentic-looking tins for your sweetie. Because even though you may disagree with his ethics or his hobbies, or question the aesthetics of that framed portrait of Charlton Heston he keeps on his mantle, at the end of the day, you know that he loves and protects you like the 2nd Amendment. So this Valentine's Day, give him the ultimate peacemaking gift from ChocolateWeapons.com: his "Gawd given" right to bear his arms, and eat them too.
Chocolate Weapons' handguns come in three varieties. Solid chocolate swirl, solid milk chocolate, and hollow milk chocolate--all of them full-sized WMDs (for Weapons of Mass Delight). For $29.99, the solid chocolate guns are made from almost an entire pound of chocolate, and comes delivered in a printed, foam-lined case with a handle. Just like the real thing! Stock up on ammunition too. 20 rounds of .50 caliber standard issue chocolate bullets come in mini chocolate ammo cans. And for the waterfowl sportsman, there's a chocolate peanut butter filled 12 gauge shotgun shells, with classic Currier and Ives lithographs of hunting game birds depicted on the tin.
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Or for something that says, "Hey Valentine, you're the bomb," try the milk chocolate hand grenade. Modeled after the MK2 Fragmentation Hand Grenade (pineapple grenade), this guy's packaged in a wood crate tin, clearly marked "Explosives," for only $12.99. Death by chocolate, indeed.