Charlie Sheen

L.A. Is Dog-Bite Capital For Postal Workers

Among our many fine distinctions, smog capital, traffic capital, douche capital, is a new one: The U.S. Postal Service this week ranked Los Angeles number one among big cities where carriers are attacked by dogs. The USPS released the list of top dog-attack cities, based on the number of incidents, ... More >>

'Chris Dorner's Last Stand' Video Game, With Voice Of Charlie Sheen, Touted Online

If you're still grieving and reeling over the tragic murder spree attributed to Christopher Dorner -- and there's no reason why you shouldn't be -- it might be a good idea to move on to a different story. Because this is about a shockingly insensitive video game attributed to an online community no ... More >>

Christopher Dorner Manhunt Task Force: LAPD, Irvine, Riverside, FBI On-Board

The LAPD today announced the formation of a Christopher Dorner task force that includes police in Irvine and Riverside as well as personnel from the FBI and U.S. Marshall's Service. Noticeably absent from the list is the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department, which has been searching the Big B ... More >>

Helicopter Noise Law Would Protect Westsiders From Noise Endured By The Rest Of L.A.

Sick and tired of helicopters flying low over your neighborhood? California-based federal legislators, including Sen. Dianne Feinstein and U.S. Rep. Henry Waxman, today introduced the "Los Angeles Residential Helicopter Noise Relief Act" to restrict flight paths and limit how low choppers can fly. ... More >>

A Recap of The Taste: We Took a Bite. Did You?

Well, kids, The Taste premiered last night on ABC with much fanfare. We sat, we watched, we followed the (trending!) tweets and we're here to recap. Just in case your DVR didn't work, or you just want to relive it all in print. The premise -- as previously mentioned -- is a mash-up of The Voice and ... More >>

Disney's Latest Princess, Sofia, Is Latina!?

Updated below. Um. Maybe she's not Latina after all. First posted at 2:04 p.m. Oct. 18. Disney has a black princess (Tiana, from New Orleans -- yeah), a native American one (Pocahontas) and an Asian one (Mulan). But, until now, America's largest minority group has been shut out of this me-to pagea ... More >>

Meet The New Star That Resists The Pull of The Black Hole

You learned in school that the black hole sucks in everything around it. The black hole is like Charlie Sheen's nostrils. No mere particles of matter, no matter how dense and Chris Christie-like, can resist this force. Well, UCLA this week announced that it has found the little star that could. Al ... More >>

Obamacare Was a Republican Idea! 5 Obama Issues The GOP Once Owned

Republicans are acting like the blue-haired lady at a four-star restaurant who spies what's on the table of a minority couple nearby: "I'll definitely not have what they're having." What Republicans once ate up like Charlie Sheen at a Peruvian farmer's market they now reject as wholly un-American ... More >>

Porn Tour of Los Angeles Will Give You Mild Version of Adult World

Huge update here people. Can you say half-price? Details at the bottom. First posted at 8:02 a.m. on June 6. Best idea ever: Tour the world of L.A. porn for a night for only $399. See where the magic really happens. Even better: L.A. Porn Tours is glitzing it up with a party bus, two live porn sta ... More >>

Banned From The Grove: 6 Others Who Should Never Step Foot There

Following our story about the Grove shopping center banning Manny Pacquiao as a result of his recent anti-gay statements, people started asking, via Twitter: Since when is the Grove L.A.s moral compass? Fair question. In the land of porn, legal marijuana, and Charlie Sheen, some entity has to step ... More >>

Bree Olsen, Former Porn Star, Gets Nearly Naked For 'Kony 2012'

Despite video-maker Jason Russell's nude melt-down last week, the "Kony 2012" juggernaut shows few signs of stopping. Russell is said to have gone raving nude in the streets as a result of a critical backlash that argued his viral video is a fundraising tool for his Christian organization. Well, no ... More >>

Two and a Half Men vs. Mad Men at PaleyFest: Is it Better to Have Ratings or Emmys?

Sometimes on the red carpet, you overhear things. Such was the case on Monday night during the arrivals for PaleyFest's Two and Half Men event, for which the show's stars (sans the glaringly absent Ashton Kutcher, who participated only in the panel) along with its creators walked the red carpet, pra ... More >>

Aurora Snow, L.A. Porn Star, Sees Her Fully Clothed 'How to Make a Banana Happy' Video Censored by YouTube

Update: Here's the original, uploaded to Snow's personal site. Just as tame as she described it. Wrong day to err on the conservative side of content regulation, YouTube. (See: #StopSopa.) Los Angeles porn star Aurora Snow -- a real fan favorite, best known for her inimitable deep-throating skills ... More >>

'Occupy,' 'Occupy LA' Trademark Applications Filed by SoCal Entrepreneurs

Here on the Internet news circuit, the Occupy boom has more or less settled. Don't bite our heads off -- we're not saying the movement itself is over, by any means -- but it's nearing the end of its shelf life as a meme. (The young American hive mind has a severe case of ADD, and a story can only st ... More >>

Steve-O at the El Rey: Jackass's Comedy Show Trades Wounds for Words

"Trying to convince people that I'm a stand-up comic is a real uphill battle," Jackass cohort Steve-O confessed before Friday's headlining show at the El Rey. "I realize I have a lot of work to do to get to that point." Notable bit of introspection and self-awareness for a guy whose resume boasts s ... More >>

2011, A Jam Of A Year The Master Food Preserver's Fundraiser At Homegirl Cafe

In keeping with years past, we fully expect that about the time we polish off our last turkey sandwich, the online barrage of 2011 best/worst lists involving topics we've already heard entirely too much about this year will begin (holiday cocktail recipes, anyone?). Nothing against Casey Anthony or ... More >>

Oscar de la Hoya Did Booty Bumps of Cocaine With Model Angelica Marie Cecora?

Is boxing's Golden Boy really a ... white boy on the inside (and we do mean inside)? A woman claims that L.A.'s Oscar de la Hoya engaged in a kinky cocaine ritual with her last March at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in New York. That time frame might coincide with De la Joya's own admission that he had a ... More >>

Cocaine Worth $5 Million Seized by California Agents in Bellflower, Bell Gardens, Kamala Harris Says

Das alotta coca my frengs.​Huge cocaine bust announced today: 51 kilos were seized by state agents in Bellflower and Bell Gardens. And the dope was linked, according to the office of state Attorney General Kamala Harris, to Mexico's Gaudalajara Cartel. Total worth? About $5 million, according ... More >>

Ashton Kutcher: Do Real Men Cheat on Their Wives?

Following revelations that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore might be splitting up as a result of an alleged rendezvous on the part of the young Two and a Half Men star at a San Diego hotel last weekend, we have to ask, do real men cheat on their wives with a 23-year-old woman? You see, this was bound ... More >>

Top Ten Metal Bands With Strange Gimmicks

Oderous Urungus of GWAR​See also: Top Five Metal Guest Vocalists That Make You Say "WTF" When it comes to our musical preferences, we pretend that we value artistic integrity, strong musicianship, and meaningful lyrics above all else. But in truth we often fall for a good gimmick. Whether it' ... More >>

Ashton Kutcher Lookalike Punking Residents of Newport Beach, Stealing Bikes, Cops Say

NBPDAshton?​Residents of tony Newport Beach are wondering if they're being punk'd. Several valuable bikes have been stolen from the Villa Balboa condo complex, and security videos stills of one of the suspects makes him out to look a little like Ashton Kutcher. Now we know the Two and a Half ... More >>

L.A. 'Helicopter Noise Relief Act' Proposed After Valley, Hills Residents Finally Discover What It's Like to Live in Chopper Hell

SZONE via FlickrYeah, we know. It sucks.​The national media is in a tither this week over the concept of "helicopter traffic" in Los Angeles -- an offshoot of the ridiculous amount of buzz we received for Carmageddon. Though the big 405 closure turned out to be an anticlimactic breeze, the m ... More >>

Xtreme Eating Awards Announced: Top 8 Worst Things To Eat

Center for Science in the Public InterestThe Cheesecake Factory Farmhouse Cheeseburger​ This year's winners of the Xtreme Eating Awards have been named, just in time for us all to continue massively overeating. The so-called "dishonorees," as if we needed more clues as to the point of this, we ... More >>

Amber Lyon and the Media's Paranoia Over Underage Sex Trafficking

​Last week's cover story focused on how Ashton Kutcher was using spurious data to claim there are "between 100,000 and 300,000 child sex slaves in the United States today," but he's not the only one causing panic with those numbers. There's also CNN reporter Amber Lyon, a member of the media y ... More >>

Jamie McCourt Wanted to be Mayor of Los Angeles?

Jamie McCourt.​Vanity Fair's take on the Frank and Jamie McCourt saga is rife with details about the couple's ostentatious living, gross even by our standards: A five-home-buying spree in L.A. and Baja, a $10,000-a-month hairstylist. But what really stopped us in our tracks were Jamie's appa ... More >>

Lisette Lee, Beverly Hills Woman Accused of Smuggling 7,000 Pounds of Marijuana on Family's Private Jet, Wants Leniency

Lisette.​Update: Lee got six years behind bars as well as a $20,000 fine. AP. She's sorry. So sorry. Lisette Lee, the Beverly Hills woman who used her family's private jet to smuggle 7,000 pounds of weed to the non-medical state of Ohio pleaded for sentencing leniency this week, saying in a ... More >>

Submarine: Directed by Richard Ayoade, English Sitcom Star

Opposites Attract: Odd Future Dances to Rebecca Black's "Friday" During a Show

​Though this happened in our own city ... was performed by our own golden gods (well, at least for now--we know how fickle we are) ... and though we solemnly swore we'd #neverforget ... We missed this video of Odd Future dancing to Rebecca Black's "Friday," the TGIF anthem that's hobbling ar ... More >>

Top 5 Apocalypse Movie Food Scenes

Alle your McDonald's are belong to us.​There's a scene in "War of the Worlds," the 2005 remake not the 1953 original, when Tom Cruise finds berserker survivalist Tim Robbins holed up in his basement. After sheltering him from the aliens, Robbins offers him peach schnapps. Even then, he (and th ... More >>

Arnold Love Child Saga Gets Taiwanese Animation Treatment, Of Course [Video]

NMAWaa. I want a budget compromise. Waa. Accurate.​Our friends at Next Media Animation are on top of the news like Arnold Schwarzenegger on ugly. Yep, they already have the Taiwanese animation version of Arnold's love-child affair ready for your viewing pleasure. We especially like the depic ... More >>

Prostitution on the Internet Draws More Affluent, Educated Women as Sex Workers?

University of ArkansasAuthor Jennifer Hafer says legalize it.​The internet is drawing some affluent, educated women into prostitution, according to research out of the University of Arkansas. The women, according to the study, aren't desperate, but are rather attracted to the world's oldest p ... More >>

Lakers: Five Reasons L.A.'s NBA Dynasty Isn't Over Yet

The best player in the NBA is still with us.​The Lakers flamed out like Charlie Sheen in rehab -- in spectacular, unprecedented fashion (via a sweep the likes of which coach Phil Jackson has never seen). And now Phil Jackson says he's coached his last NBA game and Kobe Bryant is talking about ... More >>

Vanessa Hudgens Did Cocaine in the Coachella Sunshine? We Would Be Shocked

allieiswired.comHudgens at Coachella.​Disney is to actresses what Catholic school is to other women. While on the surface they would seem to be places of wholesome goodness and conservative values, somehow their kids end up hiking their skirts up (Britney Spears) and rebelling like Amy Winehou ... More >>

Porn in America is a Human Rights Abuse in China's View: Agree?

Is porn a right, or a human rights abuse?​China has a problem with porn. Our porn. Being that we're in the adult video capital of America, we have to sit up straight whenever a world superpower calls us out for an industry that is a staple of Los Angeles. Here's what the annual Chinese Human ... More >>

USC Sex Photo Scandal: Fraternities, Sororities Can Only Party on Weekends as Punishment

JemingwayWoo-to-the-hoo, but only on weekends.​No, it's not double secret probation. But USC's Greek organizations are going to have go without their usual get-togethers Tuesday and Thursday nights for the rest of the semester because one guy had to get his freak on in public. In other words, ... More >>

Time's 140 Best Twitter Feeds: Marion Nestle, Michael Pollan, Harry Reid Lord Voldemort

If you only have 140 characters, they should be worth reading, no? Depends on whose Twitter feed you read. Time Magazine has just published a list (of course they did) of the top 140 Twitter feeds around the country. No, sorry, neither Charlie Sheen nor Kim Kardashian made it -- Neil Gaiman is #1, S ... More >>

'Superbug' Bacteria From East Coast Invades Los Angeles Medical Facilities: 356 Cases of Resistant Strain Found

Super.​"Superbug" bacteria resistant to all known efforts to kill it off has infested L.A. County medical facilities. No, Charlie Sheen doesn't have it yet. And while L.A. County Public Health officials have been resistant to our own calls to confirm this story, they could not stop our own jo ... More >>

Top 5 Ways to Give Japanese Nuclear Radiation a Proper Welcome to Southern California

FoxWelcome.​So by now you've probably heard. Some of that radiation released by Japan's ailing Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station is likely headed to Los Angeles. Don't be afraid. Don't ask if you should drop a potassium iodide pill. You shouldn't. Don't ask if you should stay indoors. G ... More >>

'LA Weekly' Names Underachiever Keith Plocek as New Web Editor

Keith Plocek comes to LA Weekly.​True story: An acquaintance of ours wanted to go for this job. We said, sure, if you can waive a wand and make six-figure traffic appear instantly, you're in. The shoes of LA Weekly's former web honcho Erin Broadley are huge (like Ru Paul size). She was nothin ... More >>

Did Odd Future's Tyler Just Jump the Shark by Taking Picture with Justin Bieber?

​Yup--it had to happen: Odd Future's Tyler the Creator took his picture with Justin Bieber (post-haircut). OFWGKTA is the Charlie Sheen of surreal nerd hip-hop: they do whatever the fuck they want. With Justin Bieber. Watch and weep:

Is This the Best Description of the Black Eyed Peas Ever?

​ [Originally published 2/4/11] Veteran rock writer Marc Spitz just published a fairly nonsensical essay on the Vanity Fair blog about how watching the Black Eyed Peas at the Super Bowl (an event that hasn't happened yet) is gonna change his life and how they are as punk rock as the Village P ... More >>

WTF: Teens Allegedly Smuggle Marijuana Into California -- Where It's Legal!

Breaking news: Weed is available in California, legally.​Maybe these kids don't read. This is like bringing sand to the beach, offering up a joint at Charlie Sheen's house, or throwing a dollar bill into one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' fireplace. It's simply uncalled for. In toda ... More >>

L.A. Journalists Invited to Get Asses Kicked as Part of Police-Beat Training

Police Investigative Media Academy​Turns out some journalists do have first-hand experience with police displaying "use-of-force" techniques. There was that little incident in 2007 in which a line of LAPD cops pushed over people in MacArthur Park, including a few journalists. (Some sued and wo ... More >>

Los Angeles is America's Rudest City? Well Excuse Us

Rude? We beg your pardon.​L.A., America's Rudest City? Yes, proclaims Travel Leisure magazine. We're surprised that SoCal's laid-back attitudes didn't impress upon the editors of T L that L.A. really is friendly. If you're a hooker living within 20 miles of Charlie Sheen it has to be good for ... More >>

Jesus Statue Struck By Lightning; God Is Mad At Us

AP Photo/The Dayton Daily NewsTouchdown Jesus.​First a swarm of temblors rocked the California desert Monday night, prompting the Los Angeles Fire Department to go into "earthquake mode." Now there's news that a beloved Jesus statue (known by locals as "Touchdown Jesus," no less) was struck by ... More >>

Denise Richards: It's Really Not That Complicated

Surfin' Fools

The Fifth Annual Doo Dah Surf Day

Downsized

American and European movies go to work

Odd Coupling

From Two and a Half Men to Dr. Zhivago

Look What the Bat Dragged In

Edited by Kateri Butler