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Holidays

7 Ridiculously Tacky Commercialized Christmas Tree Ornaments

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Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 12:02 PM

click to enlarge 'Cause nothing says Christmas like Diet Coke. - L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
  • 'Cause nothing says Christmas like Diet Coke.

You know that complaints about the commercialization of Christmas are as unfashionable as figgy pudding when "Your Ad Here"-equivalent Christmas ornaments are popular store items.

Companies like Coca-Cola pay big bucks to buy advertising space on billboards and bus stops, but they've cleverly figured out that some folks will actually pay for the privilege of giving away the underutilized advertising space on their Christmas trees. To wit: the Coke and Diet Coke can Christmas ornaments pictured above. The glitter glued to the edge of the cans ensures that no one will make the mistake of lifting one of these to their mouths, and it also saves you the trouble of gluing glitter onto one of your own empty Coke cans and hanging that on the tree.

Here are seven more corporate icons to deck the halls with:

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
7. Sex And The City

It's so charming when Christmas ornaments include the word "sex" on them. The "hand-crafted" claim seems dubious, however. Maybe this ornament is intended to evoke memories of the beloved Christmas classic Sex And The City 2, in which the three wise men traveled on a shopping pilgrimage to Abu Dhabi, or something.

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
6. Dora The Explorer

Hand-crafted, in this case, I'll buy. Especially since Dora's face is bleeding over onto her shirt and hair and the star is leaking onto her glove.

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
5. Darth Cracker

I am going to bust your nuts, Luke.

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
4. Gene Simmons and Elvis

Mix and match? Gene Simmons and Elvis would probably never mix and they certainly don't match.

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
3. Yoda and R2D2

Nice to know that R2 units are actually good for something -- like cracking one-centimeter-wide nuts. But of course, size matters not. If you're wondering whether these nutcrackers merely decorative or should you actually try to crack nuts with them, remember: do, or do not. There is no try.

click to enlarge L.J. WILLIAMSON
  • L.J. Williamson
2. iCarly

This one will be quite a conversation piece by the time Miranda Cosgrove winds up in rehab.

click to enlarge jersey_shore.jpg
1. Jersey Shore

Having them on your TV is one thing, but having them on your family's Christmas tree is quite another. Although they might make an interesting addition to a nativity scene.

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