Craft Gone Bad: Boob Scarves, Cat Ties & The Wrong Side of Cozy | Public Spectacle | Los Angeles | Los Angeles News and Events | LA Weekly
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Craft Gone Bad: Boob Scarves, Cat Ties & The Wrong Side of Cozy

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Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 5:06 AM

Marian Lizzi is 41 years old and lives in Manhattan. By day she is Editor-in-Chief of the Perigee Books imprint at Penguin. By night she does "a bit of standup comedy" and explores the wide wrong world of bad craft on her blog Kraftomatic.

click to enlarge Boob Scarf anyone?
  • Boob Scarf anyone?
click to enlarge The potato costume has eyes!
  • The potato costume has eyes!
What's the single most horrific craft project you've ever seen?



It might have to be a tie between soaps shaped like buffalo wings and
crocheted spotted dick (British dessert pudding). Both are
 surprisingly realistic.



click to enlarge Buffalo soap?
  • Buffalo soap?

Are there certain genres of crafts that tend to engender more bad craft
 than others?


There do seem to be some trends. I've noticed a lot of soaps in 
strange shapes (in addition to the buffalo wings, I've found hot dogs, 
creme brulee, dentures, remote controls, etc).

click to enlarge Denture soap
  • Denture soap
The Japanese art of
 amigurumi (miniature crocheted or knitted figures with human faces)
 yields a lot of questionable projects -- things that are supposed to 
look cute but end up seeming random and strange (such as smiling tea
bags).

click to enlarge Daniel Craig frozen treats...stone cold Bond.
  • Daniel Craig frozen treats...stone cold Bond.

I've also discovered some trends that are evidently quite 
popular, though I'd never heard of them before -- such as fabric
 postcards and frighteningly lifelike baby dolls for grown-ups that are
 referred to as "reborns."

click to enlarge Oh sweet Jesus.
  • Oh sweet Jesus.

One last trend: strange wedding-cake
 toppers. I had no idea that couples were commissioning their 
likenesses as reindeer, zombies, sock monkeys, gunslingers, hedgehogs, 
or rabid sports-team enthusiasts. Now I know.





click to enlarge "I'm sorry if this is your father."
  • "I'm sorry if this is your father."
click to enlarge "I'm sorry if this is your father."
  • "I'm sorry if this is your father."
click to enlarge Tortilla Jesus
  • Tortilla Jesus
Let's talk about cozies for a minute. Are there things that should just
 NOT be given a cozy?

I've been surprised and amused at the inventiveness of cozy 
enthusiasts out there. I figured I'd find lots of cellphone and iPod
cozies (and I have), but I never imagined things like lip-balm cozies,
 asthma-inhaler cozies, ice-cream-carton cozies, or apple sweaters. 


click to enlarge apple2.jpg
Seriously, people are knitting and crocheting (and buying) cozies for
 their fruit. I can't get over it. Last night I posted a bong cozy,
 which the crafter will customize for your...water pipe.




click to enlarge Coffee cup cozy overkill
  • Coffee cup cozy overkill
click to enlarge Coffee cup cozy overkill
  • Coffee cup cozy overkill
Do you craft?

I like to buy old necklaces at thrift stores, take them apart, and
 restring them in new ways. I don't sell them -- they're just for me to 
make and wear.




click to enlarge Ghost cellphone finger puppets made of felt.
  • Ghost cellphone finger puppets made of felt.
click to enlarge Ghost cellphone finger puppets made of felt.
  • Ghost cellphone finger puppets made of felt.
click to enlarge tiny_snail.jpg

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