So, recently this mysterious chocolate arm arrived in the mail. My cubicle-mates all coveted the arm. Some tried to steal it outright. Some gnawed off its fingers. One person claimed the thumb, which we cut off and left on his desk. There were many questions. Here are the F.A.Q.'s:
What the hell is it?
It's a life-size arm made of chocolate.
Who sent it to you?
The people who make AXE cologne.
Because they have a new cologne scented like chocolate called "Dark Temptation." The girls in our office sprayed it around the room. It smelled like chocolate and men. Some people liked it and made erotic moaning noises. Some people hated it. According to AXE's PR, it's becoming the number one selling scent of the brand.
Are you a shill for the AXE corporation?
No. But I do like chocolate. And I've seen the movie "Alive" more than once. And if I were stranded on a desert island and you were the only other human around and there were no food, I would totally cannibalize you.
Are publicists always sending you body parts as swag?
Yes. Okay, no. But this type of thing is not unheard of. Several years ago, the Beverly Center had rats in it. They exterminated the rats, and to let people know that the rats were gone, their publicists sent out press releases attached to gummy rats in coffins. True story.