What is Not Sexy

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Thu, Apr 27, 2006 at 5:04 PM

Victoria's Secret launched its first "What is Sexy" list. (why? your guess is as good as mine) But it leaves me seriously wondering if Victoria has any real secrets at all. I won't argue with their choice to make St. Tropez the sexiest international city, I've never been there, but I hear the chicks get the tits out. That's pretty hot. Nor will argue about their chosing chocolate as the sexiest food, but I will say oysters are a close second. Here are the things they got seriously wrong though:

VS: Sexiest Car-  Ferrari 430 Spyder  Sure a Ferrari is sexy, just like a Hummer... Anyone driving this car is over compensating for having a little willy. And really, is that sexy?

VS: Sexiest Movie Ever: Unfaithful  What!!! Is infidelity, getting caught, and watching a dude's head get crushed with a snowglobe sexy? What about Last Tango in Paris? (when Brando asks for the butter!) or, Henry and June (when Uma Thurman and the Italian chick who played Anais get it on).       

VS: Sexiest Song Ever: Sade – No Ordinary LoveSade makes me want to vomit. If you're talking sexy songs, either Beast of Burden by the Stones, or Can't Get Enough by Barry White would be much hotter than a lite music queen crooning about strange lovin. Does anyone really get hot and bothered over Sade?                                                               

VS: Sexiest Male Musician: Adam Levine – Maroon 5 Um, clearly Victoria Secret hasn't seen my boyfriend. Eric Jonasson of Gram Rabbit is by far the hottest male musician... ever.

VS: Sexiest Male Actor: Patrick Dempsey                                            Unbelievable! Patrick Dempsey?!! Hottest male actor?  What about, oh I don't know George Clooney? Who voted on this list? Even the chubby kid from Dawson's Creek is hotter than Patrick Dempsey.                     

VS: Sexiest Male TV Personality: Jay Leno                                 I can't even respond to this one.

VS: Sexiest Couple: Seal and Heidi Klum                                                                 Damn, maybe they are sexy, but it's kind of cheating. Isn't Heidi a major VS model? personally, when it comes right down to it, and let's be honest, if we're talking who you'd want to see get it on, would Seal and Heidi even spring to mind? Brad and Angelina would have won hands down, you know if she wasn't all knocked up now.   Maybe Victoria's Secret is really like the hot chick who should keep her mouth shut and just smile real pretty...                           

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