"I've never performed at a festival," says Madonna, "and I'm especially excited about playing at Coachella before I start my own tour."
Well la-dee-da. What Madonna wants. Madonna gets.
But Madonna at Coachella? I don't even know what to think. I love Madonna, but... but... Coachella? I like to wear stilletos but I don't wear 'em to the beach. There's a time and a place for Madonna. And how many people can fit in that tent anyway? There will be close to 50,000 people at Coachella, the tent holds maybe 4,000. I remember being nearly crushed to death, and passing out from the intense heat while watching the Chemical Brothers. I can only imagine what it will be like inside that tent when Madonna takes the stage. I sense death, I see Altamont. One thing is for sure, most of you won't get anywhere NEAR that tent, unless you camp out there first thing in the morning. Festival organizers are asking you to chose between Madonna and their whole line-up. Are you willing to miss Amadou & Miriam? Art Brut? Giant Drag? Seu Jorge? Sleater-Kinney? Matisyahu? The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs? You might have to if you want to catch a glimpse of the immortal legend.
This morning on Dicky Barrett's Mighty Morning show on Indie 103, callers were pissed off at Madge's addition to the bill. "How did Coachella go from Indie festival to a lip synching pre-recorded mega star venue?" One caller said she is going to start a boycott of Madonna's performance. She begged for others to join her plight. "NO ONE go see Madonna," she said, "How great will that be if no one goes. We need to show festival organizers we won't stand for this crap." Barrett warned, "it's going to be hard to convince all the hipsters." She was undaunted, "we'll do it." Watch for picket signs, T-shirts that read "Fuck Madonna," and the ambulance.