Yogasms & Other Self-Made Orgasms Found in Public Places
Be patient, dear. Just breathe.
Yoga-loving women everywhere swear their twisting, bending and inverting is helping their sex lives. Sure, practicing those pelvic floor muscle exercises (kegels, ladies!) will certainly bring more attention to all that's going on around the root chakra, it's the in-class orgasm - aka the yogasm - that makes me want to try yoga in the studio.
It's all in the breathing and pulling up of the mula bandha - the yogi term for the pelvic floor muscles way deep down in the lower abs right about where your vulva is - that's got women discovering that yoga not only can bring bliss, but also orgasmic elation. More women are leaving yoga classes feeling something come out inside them, an orgasm that slips out with unexpected , yet appreciated, release.
While it may not be the most appropriate place to let one out, I would rather it be an orgasm than a fart. A yogasm would only really embarrass me if I was a scream queen (and I'm not) so I'm all for dealing with the kind of embarrassing that's not really embarrassing at all. It's the kind I can't wait to share with all my friends over spirulina smoothies.
So as I sit here typing in lotus position, waiting for my surprise orgasm to appear, and thinking it might just be easier with my vibrator, here are some other public places that make hands-free orgasm possible, with a lot of practice and some patience.
And in the meantime check out these top-rated yoga poses that make for some enlightened oral sex. Try them, I dare you.
Take that out on the Audubon and see what kind of noises we make.
Have an orgasm on the subway, bus or train. These orgasms are possibly some of the easiest to attain because the gentle vibration of the various modes of transportation allows for a low hum that, combined with a place to focus on breathe and squeezing, feels great.
For those more inhibited in public spaces, or easily distracted when driving, try this when it's not rush hour. For bonus points, take the car on a gravel road.
You're front and center.
It's dark and you're at a movie with a great surround sound system. If you go see an action flick, you're bound to get some loud explosions that might rock your body. Or find a movie with a good soundtrack (think Tron).
The good news is you have a few hours to sit around with nothing to do other than focus on the screen to try to achieve your theatergasm. So concentrate on the flick while you work on squeezing and releasing those pelvic floor muscles and see what you can muster up from down below.
Laundry day will make you wet.
You can try it sitting on top of the washing machine, preferably on spin cycle, or see if you can make it on the dryer until you're permanently pressed. Whatever you decide, the washer and dryer (which offers the bonus of a warm butt, too) provide extra sensation when it comes to hands-free orgasm attempts.
You're in for a wild ride.
Next time you want to make your own amusement park of orgasmic explosion, give new meaning to riding a roller coaster by exploring the rush you feel... in your pants. As soon as you strap yourself into your safety seat, begin pulsing your pelvic floor muscles. You only have a few minutes to give it a go, but you can go back for multiple tries.
Once, when I was a teenager, I rode the Loch Ness Monster ride at Bush Gardens 13 times in one day. If it's not too long of a line do it 'til you get it done or at least almost there, and then simply make a magic mountain of pleasure with whatever you managed to muster up at the park.
Aim for a big O each time you hit a big drop.
The next time you're doing those booty exercises at the gym, try thrusting a little deeper and harder and see what happens. Or each time you do a back extension, see how long you can squeeze and release. Whatever type of exercise you're into, it's better when you do it with intention. So focus on the big O and see the places you go!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.
- Los Angeles Neighborhoods Offer Some Upward Mobility
- Yes, Most of the Nation's Worst Freeways Are in L.A.
- Janice Hahn Blasted for Vote Against Syrian Refugees