All the bleeding gingerhearts on Team Coco finally lay down their arms tonight.
After 10 months following "The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour," Conan O'Brien fans will gather, J.Bieb-style, outside the Warner Bros. studios in Burbank at 11 p.m., where their ex-NBC sweetheart will officially resume bobbing his "Little Mermaid" bangs for cable network TBS.
That is, if they're not too busy watching the "The Daily Show."
O'Brien may have a half-hour head start on NBC replacement Jay Leno, but he'll face more cutting competition at 11 p.m.: Not only in the form of world's-favorite-fake Jon Stewart on Comedy Central, but harsh critic Chelsea Handler on E! and "Family Guy" on the Cartoon Network.
It's easy to out-funny an old-dog dweeb like Leno -- and O'Brien has done so, on reruns alone -- but Stewart and Peter Griffin are a whole new ball game.
Leno's guest tonight will be Arnold Schwarzenegger, for a battle of the chins. Conan, ever the small-town goof, one-ups his rival with the curator of a nutcracker museum, "Glee's" Lea Michele and Seth Rogan. (We suggest a retro-MTV round of "Celebrity Death Match.")
But how will we turn from our nightly dose of Republican-bashing on "The Daily Show," where Stewart will be hosting Texas Governor Rick Perry?
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Thank heaven for On Demand.
In a dreadfully unfunny preview to the "Conan" premiere (and hopefully this doesn't foreshadow anything), a Team Coco leader in an '80s wildlife Tee drafts your shopping list for the party: orange soda, Cheetos and corn dogs dipped in nondescript "cheese sauce." Sounds like a blast.
Does O'Brien have what it takes to go up against Stewart? Share your thoughts.