What to Do in L.A. When It's Too Damn Hot to Bone
Do the hot temperatures have your libido running low?
We're not complaining (well, maybe just a little), but summer sex has been a bit, shall we say, lacking. The return of normal temperatures has our non-air-conditioned house sweltering during the mid-day, despite marine layer cooled mornings and ceiling fans cranked all the way to max, making for laziness in every facet of our lives.
The house doesn't reach a sex-appropriate temperature until midnight, and by that time we're usually an hour into slumber; the only motivation overcoming these doldrums is the fact we have to "review" sex toys for our website, and even then we're only halfheartedly throwing ourselves into action.
In addition to relaxing our respective libidos, dishes are going longer in the sink, we're eating more take-out to avoid cooking, and our workout regimens have been virtually non existent. Again, not to complain, but we're probably going to have to resort to pulling out the porn DVDs pretty soon to fire things up.
One positive aspect of reduced summertime sex is the opportunity to explore other facets of sexuality in general. We've taken to attending more sex-oriented events, such as Jamye Waxman's fabulous Sexy Tales and Other Intimate Acts, located in Hollywood, and the equally fun Mindshare LA, which manages to throw a sexy topic into its heady monthly lineup along with a hip and attractive crowd.
Los Angeles Chargers vs. Kansas City Chiefs
TicketsSun., Sep. 24, 1:25pm
UCLA Bruins Men's Soccer vs. Cal State Northridge Matadors Men's Soccer
TicketsSun., Sep. 24, 6:00pm
UCLA Women's Soccer v Oregon & UCLA Men's Soccer v California
TicketsThu., Sep. 28, 5:00pm
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v. Seattle Mariners
TicketsFri., Sep. 29, 7:07pm
Los Angeles Angels vs. Seattle Mariners
TicketsFri., Sep. 29, 7:07pm
Waxman's been guest hosting and AfterDarkLA's own Barbie Davenporte usually shows up, which is reason enough to go - plus there are yummy food trucks.
We also hit the local beach bars to see our summer crowds in action (and out of their clothing) passing by, our favorites being the Whaler (where Washington Blvd. meets the Ocean) and the Venice Ale House, located on the corner of Rose and Ocean Front Walk.
People-watching is one of L.A.'s true pleasures and we often find ourselves strolling amidst the crowds at The Grove, Abbott Kinney Blvd., and Santa Monica's 3rd St. Promenade. Being long-time locals, we even keep our little secret parking spots in reserve for such outings.
The BIG news of our summer, however, is that we will be reopening our "brick and mortar" store in August! We managed to find an amazing deal on a space on Washington Blvd., just east of Islands restaurant, and its 1,200 square foot size and 10 parking spaces make it perfect for a small showroom, library, espresso bar and classroom in the same vein as our former location in Mar Vista.
We hope some of you will come visit and share a coffee beverage (it's free) and some good conversation; we will be offering our lending library once more as well. We're not certain as to whether we'll be requiring appointments to visit, so check back in future columns for all the details as we open the doors and serve up vibrators and dildos of all sorts.
Burning Man is also fast approaching and we sadly parted ways with our 27-foot RV (lovingly named "Hoe-NAY"). She has been our second home on the road, so to speak, and in our three years of owning her she's sheltered us from dust storms at Burning Man, rain in Santa Barbara, extreme heat in the Mojave Desert, and freezing temperatures in Joshua tree during the winter months - never complaining or failing to keep us safe and comfortable.
She even circumnavigated the entire United States - more than 7,000 miles - with only one water pump repair on her record. And as sad as we are to see her go, she gave birth to a cute-as-a-button 1964, 13-foot Aristocrat trailer we've taken to calling Baby Bee.
Get your tents out, there's no better place for summer love.
We figure this tow-along is perfect for our coastal camping excursions and jaunts to the local deserts, not to mention our upcoming adventures on the Black Rock Desert playa. We are now in final preparations for our annual trek amongst the most giving, loving people we've met (and have yet to meet). Lots of friends, play, dancing, food, alcohol and art will be experienced - our 7th time running.
Before we sign off for the week, we'd like to mention a few products we feel worthy of bedroom arsenals everywhere, the first of which is Aloe Cadabra lubricant. Made from 95 percent organic ingredients, the most prominent of which is aloe vera extract, this is one of our favorite personal lubes and can be used with any toy and in any orifice.
We also love the Hustler Twice the Love Ring, a stretchy, dual vibrating ring that stimulates both partners and provides the benefits of prolonged erections.
In the porn realm, we love "Who's Nailin' Palin?" (and its sequel), parodies of you-know-who and her family that "nail" the former governor a little too close for comfort.
Finally, we recommend the Tenga Flip Air masturbation device, a sleeve with hundreds of soft stimulating "nubs" that caress and propel its user to climax.
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