[VIDEO] Goats Devour Downtown L.A.
Hide your dying grasses
One of the best things about living in Los Angeles, as opposed to that other black hole of concrete and emissions: Goats. If you don't know what we're talking about, you chose the wrong neighbors. But there's hope for you yet -- a herd of baying, devouring goatkind has been unleashed upon Angels Knoll in downtown Los Angeles, best known for its super airbrushed cameo in "500 Days of Summer." (It's easy for Zooey Deschanel to pretend she likes the Eastside, when it looks this idyllic!) In reality, Angels Knoll is a pretty nasty-looking excuse for urban sanctuary, but luckily, the beleaguered Community Redevelopment Agency has some "Animal Farm" slave labor up its sleeve:
Don't be fooled by their apparent lapse of work ethic: When the downtown herd of 80 to 100 goats has had its fill, this bedheaded patch of itchy stalks will emerge a new Knoll -- bald and virtually flame-retardant. Hey, it's no field of tickly romcom grasses, but it should at least deter the Worst Fire Season Ever from stopping in for a rager, and at best, the goats might take care of the hobos, while they're at it. And the frolicking children, goddammit.
From what we've heard, the goats are scheduled to leave today, so catch them while you can. Also, come live by us. Case in point, a couple fences over:
Photo courtesy of Rob Eshman
By the way, CRA: Can't we just get some free goats to build the Broad Museum's $42 million parking metropolis, now that we've seen what they can do, given some blight and a spank on the rear?