Twitter Answers The Eternal White Guy Question -- What Are Black People Thinking?
The hottest trending topic on Twitter today is #BlackThoughts, and people are opening up like Sarah Palin at a book signing.
When he wasn't pillaging for gold, spices, rap skills or Selma Hayek, the white man yearned throughout history to answer an eternal question: What are black people thinking? Elvis, Bill Clinton and Eminem tried unsuccessfully to channel the African-American mind for the Caucasian's benefit. They just didn't have the technology we enjoy today. Through the miracle of the internet, we have finally found the insight they were searching for.
Some examples (we bet white folks didn't know):
-"How we got a black president and 'the man' still managing to hold us down...lol."
-"I got 9 inches." (A #WhiteThoughts tweeter replies, "I got 4 inches").
(No stereotypes here folks ... ):
-"I'm black and I can't dance!"
-"Let's rob the bank." (The #WhiteThoughts reply: "Let's invest in that bank.").
-"He need to pass the damn blunt!" (The #WhiteThoughts reply: "Hey, it's my turn to hit the bong!).
-"Fired? Man you should of told me on the phone. Got me wasting gas." (The #WhiteThoughts reply: "Fired! I'll be back with my gun!").
(And, finally, the number one #BlackThought):
"We are the mothers and fathers of humanity who cradle civilization with our thoughts, a proud, beautiful people...."
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss LA Weekly's biggest stories.